


Who Do You Think You Are?

by Dassy1407



Series: Who Do You Think You Are? [1]
Category: One Direction
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-08
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-24 05:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/630944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dassy1407/pseuds/Dassy1407
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam thought Harry was the perfect boyfriend until he turned abusive.  Louis only wants to save the boy he loves.</p><p> </p><p>*Italian Translation:</p><p>http://www.efpfanfic.net/viewstory.php?sid=3449718</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You're Not Very Pretty When You Cry

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine, I'm a terrible editer.

At the beginning, Liam had no doubt that he and Harry were the perfect couple. They fell in love only a few months after One Direction was formed. They only grew closer as they worked on X-Factor together, despite having to hide their relationship. Even through all the Larry Stylinson rumors, Harry would always return to Liam, cuddling him at night, making love to him to prove that he was his only love. It was on tour that Larry began to disappear and Lirry became dominant in the fan base. The fans knew something was going on: Liam would whisper into Harry’s ear a little too long on stage. Harry would practically sit on Liam’s lap in nearly every interview. Paparazzi even got a photo of the secret couple holding hands during what was supposed to be a ‘private’ tour through a local museum in Liam’s hometown. But when asked to confirm the rumor, the boys neither denied or confirmed it.

It was only the five boys that knew how strong the two boys relationship was. After their tour they decided to all move into a house together. Liam and Harry shared a room, and practically had their own little section of the house, while the other boys got their own section. The boys could be together without any pressure, and neither Zayn, Niall, or Louis seemed to mind… at first at least.

Liam was sure nothing could break his relationship apart, that is until one night Harry came home a little later than usual. It went down hill from there.

~

Liam typed away at his computer, working on an email to Simon, giving him an update on the boys. He sent one every week, telling how everyone was doing with their time off tour and working on their album. He explained how Niall was still hungry all the time, nothing changing with him much. He mentioned that Zayn’s moody behavior was going away after the big deal of him deleting his twitter and his break up with Perrie. He said he and Harry were perfectly fine, and were being extra careful not to be caught. Liam paused and examined the email, knowing that he was dreading writing the next bit of information.

*

Louis still isn’t the same. He still acts the same in public, but I know something is wrong, but he won’t tell me. Not even Harry. Ever since the tour, he’s just been different. It’s not affecting our image, yet, but I’ll still keep my eye on him. - Liam Payne

*

Liam pressed send and then closed the lap top. He looked at the clock, seeing it was passed midnight. He grabbed his phone, sending a text to his boyfriend. “Where are you, love? xx”

He didn’t have to wait long before he got a reply. “OUt. Lou pisse me of, needed a drunk.”

Liam frowned deeply. It wasn’t rare that Louis and Harry argued; Louis temper was pretty short now-a-days, but Harry wasn’t one to go out and drink just because he was mad, but he especially wasn’t one to go out without Liam tagging along. Liam knew Harry liked to drink, but the younger lad always had his boyfriend there to make sure he stayed out of trouble. But Liam wasn’t with him, and he was worried. “I’m not going to comment on how badly you are drunk texting right now. Where are you? I’ll come get you..”

“No neeed tim, b home soon, promis xx,” came the reply after Liam’s phone beeped a few minutes later.

Liam sighed and laid down in his bed, alone. He was worried about his boyfriend, even though he knew, even drunk, Harry wouldn’t allow himself to drive home or get into any wild bar fights. He turned off the light and tried to settle in, thinking that time would move faster if he could fall asleep. Luckily, he managed to fall into a light sleep.

A few hours later, Liam was awoken by the sound of the bedroom door slamming shut. Liam sat up and made out Harry stumbling in the darkness, grumbling to himself.

“Nogoodfuckingtwat!” Harry grumbled and gasped when he hit his shin on the corner of the bed.

“Babe?” Liam said, turning on the light.

“Gaawwd,” Harry groaned, stumbling backwards from the light, his hand going to cover his eyes.

Liam pulled the sheets back and got out of bed, going to Harry. “Hey, come on, lets get you to bed,” he said, gently grasping Harry’s arm.

“No,” Harry said, pulling away from Liam. “That son of a bitch is gunna ruin everything,” he slurred.

“Who is, Harry?” Liam asked, concerned.

Harry looked up at Liam and frowned, as if only noticing that his boyfriend was there. “Nothing,” he said. “I don’t want to sleep,” he explained and pulled Liam to him, putting his arms around his shoulders.

“Harry, you stink of alcohol,” Liam complained, trying to pry Harry’s large hands off his body.

Whether Harry didn’t hear him, or whether he did and just ignored him, Liam wasn’t sure. But Harry continued to roam his hands all over Liam’s barely clothed body.

“You’re not how I like you,” Harry grumbled, nipping at Liam’s neck.

Liam couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Sorry that I don’t sleep naked like you, Haz,” he said, and managed to get a grip on Harry’s hands and pry them off his boxer-clad ass.

“Just the boxers, lemme get ‘em off,” Harry begged as Liam finally pushed him off.

“Not tonight Harry, you need to get to sleep,” Liam explained and moved his boyfriend to sit on the bed. He knelt down and pulled off Harry’s sneakers.

“Hmm, Li, normally I’m the one removing the clothing,” Harry grinned and pulled off his t-shirt.

“Yeah, well from the look of you, you’re having trouble not falling off the bed right now, so I’m not sure how you’d be able to handle much more clothes-removing,” Liam said, pulling off Harry’s socks.

“Oh, I think I can manage,” Harry said and grabbed Liam’s shoulders, pulling him up from the ground and pulled him on top of himself.

Liam gasped, surprised by the strength the younger boy managed to muster up. Liam wiggled on top of Harry, their bare chests rubbing together. “Stop it,” he said, pushing his hands down on either side of Harry’s head and pushing himself up.

“Don’t tell me that,” Harry said and pushed Liam over. He moved rather quickly and was now straddling the older lad. “Telling me to stop means you don’t want me,” Harry pouted and pressed his lips against Liam’s in a passionate kiss.

Liam felt the passion, something Harry was known for having towards Liam, but he also noticed something was off. There was passion, but it lacked the sweetness and gentleness that normally came with it. Instead, Liam felt nothing except lust and… was that anger? Despite wanting to get his young boyfriend to sleep, Liam returned the kiss, trying not to be repulsed by the taste of alcoholic drinks and pretzels in Harry’s mouth.

Harry ran his hands down Liam’s toned arms before gripping his wrist and pinning them above his head.

“Harry, what are you doing?” Liam asked once Harry finally pulled away to catch his breath.

“I told you, I want you,” Harry said, a glint in his eye that Liam never saw before.

“And I told you, it’s not going to happen,” Liam said, trying weakly to get his wrists free from Harry’s strong hands.

“Why not?” Harry demanded, his lip snarling ever so slightly.

Liam frowned at this. Harry was normally very reasonable when he was drinking, and he’s never seen Harry actually angry at him for denying sex.

“I told you, we need to get to sleep. We have an interview in the morning,” Liam explained.

“Liar,” Harry said, his grip tightening on Liam’s wrists.

“What? I’m not lying, Haz, you knew about this interview for a week now,” Liam said.

“No, that’s not what I mean,” Harry explained. “You just don’t want me anymore,” he said and Liam’s heart broke at the tears that formed in Harry’s eyes.

“What?! No, that’s not true at all!” Liam gasped, his upper body moving forward, wanting to wrap his arms around Harry, but the younger boy had yet to release Liam’s wrists.

“Then let me make love to you, Li,” Harry begged and didn’t wait for a response before Liam felt Harry’s hard-on rubbing up against his boxers. Harry’s face disappeared against Liam’s neck, placing warm kisses along it before he sucked on the tender skin.

“Hazza,” Liam winced as Harry’s teeth bit onto his skin. He couldn’t deny that the boy pinning him down was turning him on. They both experimented on the dominancy in their sexual relationships, but Harry was taking it to a new level, and Liam was unsure how he felt about it.

Harry pulled away and finally let go of Liam’s wrists. Liam sighed in relief, moving his arms down, wiggling his fingers as feeling returned to his hands. He looked up at Harry who was still straddling him, but he was no longer making advances towards Liam.

“You don’t want me,” Harry said again, but this time his face wasn’t lined with sadness, it was lined with anger.

“Again, not true,” Liam said, growing annoyed by this drunken Harry.

Harry rolled his eyes placed his hands on Liam’s chest, pushing his back down on the bed. “Don’t lie to me,” he glared.

“I’m not-,” WHACK!

Time froze as Liam was suddenly staring at the wall, instead of at Harry. He blinked, seeing dots in his vision as the pain spread a crossed his now bright red cheek.

“Don’t’ lie to me,” Harry’s voice repeated and Liam slowly turned his head back to his boyfriend, staring at him in disbelief.

“Hazza…” Liam said in a quiet voice, feeling his right eye watering from the back-handed slap.

“Don’t cry Liam, it’s not worth it,” Harry said, reaching out and brushing the fallen tear from Liam’s abused cheek.

But Liam wasn’t aware that he was even crying. He didn’t actually register that Harry just slapped him.

“You’re not very pretty when you cry,” Harry concluded before rolling off of Liam and snuggling into the pillows before passing out.

Liam stared at the ceiling, his mind registering the past minute. The love of his life, the one person he trusted more than anyone, the one person who he thought could never hurt a fly, just hit him. He brought his hand to his cheek, feeling the burn. He blinked, now feeling actual tears appear in his eyes. He wasn’t sure how long he laid there, analyzing every moment of the evening, but eventually he fell into a sleep clouded with nightmares.


	2. Intense Dream/I Forgive You

Louis smacked his hand down on his alarm clock and let out a small sigh. He wasn’t ready to face the morning yet. Hell, he never wanted to face any day, but some how managed to get up and make his way to the bathroom. His eyes looked tired; they always did. Ever since the tour ended, he allowed himself to think about his life. He shouldn’t have ever done that.

 

He went through his time on the X-Factor without really thinking. He went with the motions, only knowing one thing. He was seriously crushing on Liam Payne. Every since they met, he couldn’t get the boy out of his mind. He had been ecstatic when One Direction was formed, knowing he could get to know the boy more. But his dreams were diminished when Liam and Harry seemed to connect instantly. Their relationship was weird at first: When it was just them, with or without the other band members, they were very close, harmlessly flirting with each other constantly. But when the press or cameras were around, no one would have guessed they knew the other existed.

So Louis had a plan: Operation, make Liam jealous. It was a bad plan, because after weeks of trying to make the lad jealous, he realized for that to happen, Liam needed to have feelings towards him. So he went onto another plan: figure out what Liam liked. Obviously, he liked Harry, so Louis went to him first. He got to know him: his likes, his dislikes, his personality. What Liam was into, was obviously in this curly-haired boy. He actually grown to really like Harry, but as nothing more than good mates. So it didn’t help when the Larry rumors began. On the outside, he was devastated because if he wanted any rumors to begin, he wanted them to be about Liam and himself, not Harry. He would consistently tell Liam how the rumors were untrue, but on the inside he was wondering if Liam was badly affected by the rumors, that his feelings towards Harry would go away. They hadn’t. It actually had the opposite affect, and only a few weeks later, Lirry came out to the other boys.

Management wasn’t at all pleased with this though, and demanded the Larry bromance stay strong. So both Louis and Harry put on their acting faces and played out the bromance through the tour. It went well, until it got towards the end. Liam and Harry missed each other, and unintentionally, the Larry bromance disappeared and the Lirry romance prospered even to the fans.

Now, Louis realized that he had ended up losing the one he loved, and his best friend. He hated the decision to all move in together after the tour, but he couldn’t say no. He would have been the only one not in the house, and it could have hurt the band’s reputation. “Louis lives alone. Does this mean trouble for the band?” He could only imagine the headlines.

He put up his playful act in front of the cameras but all the boys knew something was wrong with him. But he refused to talk about it, telling them it was none of their business. That is until last night. Harry confronted him and Louis said some not-so-smart things. He knew Harry was ticked at him, but he didn’t care. That boy he once called his best friend didn’t deserve Liam.

Louis turned off his brain and got prepared for the morning. They had an interview and he couldn’t be his depressed normal self, which he had been for the past few weeks since the tour ended. He found his bounce in his step again as he made his way downstairs, finding Niall, Harry, and Zayn eating breakfast.

“Morning,” Louis said as cheerfully as he could as he went to get some scrambled eggs and bacon that Zayn prepared for them.

“Morning,” The boys said in unison.

“Where’s Li?” Louis asked, glancing at Harry who was glaring at him.

“He’ll be down soon,” Harry said, his voice lower than normal. Louis took a moment to examine the bags under his eyes and the way his hair was not as skillfully placed all over the place.

“Looks like someone had a rough night,” Louis commented.

Harry looked away, clenching his jaw.

“Yeah, I heard you come in last night. It was like two in the morning,” Niall commented with a mouthful of food.

“Sorry,” Harry said, but didn’t really look or sound it. “Just wanted a night to myself,” he explained bitterly.

“Right…” Zayn said, feeling the tension in the air.

The room grew awkwardly quite as they ate their breakfast, until the silence was disrupted by Niall’s gasp and dropping of his fork on his plate.

All eyes moved to where Niall was looking, and they saw Liam in the doorway.

“What?” Liam asked, looking at all the staring eyes. Two set of eyes looked surprised, one set looked annoyed, and the last looked worried.

“What happened to your face?” Zayn asked.

Louis watched Liam rocked on his heels, as if trying to remember how he got the light bruise that spread over his cheek and creeped around his eye a little.

“I fell off the bed last night,” Liam lied very well, Louis noticed. “I got tangled in my head phones and I think I freaked out in my dream and rolled right off, hit my cheek off the night stand,” he said with an embarrassed chuckle.

“Yeah,” Harry piped in, also a very good liar. “Scared the living hell out of me,” he said with a small smirk.

“You dork,” Niall laughed, scraping all the left over scraps on his plate onto his fork for a final bite.

Louis couldn’t believe the other two couldn’t tell Liam and Harry were lying. While both good liars, he assumed they would have noticed the grimace in Liam’s eyes on the way Harry was staring at the bruise Liam wore on his face.

“Well the interviewer is going to have a great story today,” Zayn added with a chuckle.

“Which we should go now guys, or we’re going to be late,” Harry added, getting up quickly and pulling Liam from the room.

—

Zayn had been right when he said the interviewer would have a field day with Liam’s story about the bruise. He kept to his story, but Harry had to alter his and say he heard Liam fall while on his way to the bathroom, and went in to make sure the boy hadn’t seriously injured himself.

They had a few laughs about it, calling Liam a goofball and Louis even asked Liam if he had been wrestling a bear in his dream or something.

“I don’t know, I don’t remember what I was dreaming,” Liam shrugged and smiled at the interviewer. “Must have been an intense dream though,” he added.

“Must have been,” Harry added and Louis got chills from the look Harry was giving Liam. No one else seemed to notice.

~

One Month Later

Liam felt his back spasm as Harry shoved him up against the wall. “Harry, stop! Nothing went wrong,” he yelled but his voice faded out quickly.

“But it could have went wrong, thanks to you!” Harry screamed in his face, his hands gripping into Liam’s shirt and shaking him, causing Liam’s head to hit against the wall. “If you slip up one more time, this whole thing goes down the toilet!” he yelled.

Liam closed his eyes, wishing he was anywhere but there.

 

It had been a month since Harry had first hit him that night. He thought it was just a one time thing. Their lie about Liam falling out of bed did more good than damage for the band, and Harry had apologized to him over and over. But not two days later, Harry had returned home once again, drunk. That time though, after Liam managed to make Harry so angry to hit him, the curly haired boy didn’t pass out.

Instead, Harry was hornier than ever and wasn’t going to stop until Liam gave into his wishes. Liam protested as much as he could, but Harry managed to pin him face down in the bed.

“Harry, please,” Liam had begged, his tears soaking the sheets that laid beneath him.

“Shut up, Payne! Who do you think you are?” Harry had yelled in a very venomous tone as he mounted Liam, and held the boy’s arms tightly behind his back the entire time. “You’re mine, that’s who you are, and that’s all you’ll ever be. Mine,” he said.

Liam shuddered at the memory. Harry wasn’t the same when he was drunk and filled with rage and lust. He hadn’t made love to Liam that night, he used him in the worst possible way.

The morning after, Liam was determined to tell Harry that what he did hurt him and that if he wanted to go out drinking like that again, they were over. Liam wasn’t angry at Harry for what he did, he was disappointed.

Harry had broken down in tears, cuddling Liam and begging for forgiveness. Being the soft-hearted person he was, Liam forgave Harry instantly.

“I forgive you, Hazza, but please, don’t do that to me again,” Liam had begged and then both of them ended up crying in each other’s arms.

“I promise Li, I promise,” Harry had cried.

Harry didn’t break his promise. Meaning he didn’t go out and get drunk like that again. Instead, his anger was prospering without the alcohol. Every little thing Liam did made Harry angry. Even when Harry was fuming about something not involving Liam, the boy would get shoved, slapped, or kicked. Harry simply called it collateral damage.

Liam never thought he would be one of those people, stuck in an abusive relationship. But he didn’t see himself as that: he loved Harry with everything he had and forgave him every time he touched him, no matter how painful that touch was. It wasn’t Harry’s fault, it was Liam’s. Or that’s how Liam saw it. He needed to learn to stay out of Harry’s way when he was mad, and just give Harry what he wanted when he was ‘in the mood’. No fighting, just giving Harry everything. That was what he promised from the start of the relationship anyways, wasn’t it? He promised to love Harry no matter what, so that was what he was doing. He lied to everyone about the bruises, or how he limped, or how tired he always looked. No one questioned it so it seemed no one took notice. That was until Liam messed up one of their cover-stories during an interview. Now Harry was fuming.

“You told Zayn that you hit your wrist off the rod in the bathroom, but you told the interviewer you hit it in the kitchen,” Harry reminded Liam of his mistake.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Liam said calmly and slowly opened his eyes.

“What ever Liam, just don’t come crying to me when this band falls apart because of you,” Harry snapped, letting go of Liam’s shirt, but staying close to him so Liam was still pressed against the wall of their bedroom.

“The band isn’t going to fall apart because of one slip up, Harry. Besides, Zayn didn’t say anything,” Liam reminded him.

“No, but he knows that you lied. What are you going to tell the boys, huh? That you lied to Zayn or you lied in the interview?” Harry asked.

“I-I don’t know,” Liam stuttered, wincing as Harry’s hand hit his face. It wasn’t as strong as past hits, but it still stung down deep to his soul.

“Or do you just want to tell him the truth?” Harry asked and Liam looked at him, confused.

Harry reached down and grabbed Liam’s wrist, which was bruised by Harry kicking him last night. He squeezed very tightly, making Liam cry out. “Ow! Harry, stop!” Liam gasped.

“No! Do you want to tell him the truth?!” Harry asked again. “Tell him that you’re such a terrible boyfriend that you make me have to do these things to you?!” he screamed. “Tell him how annoying and pathetic you are,” he growled.

Liam reached out and grabbed Harry’s hand, trying to pry it from his hurt wrist.

Harry only twisted his wrist, making Liam drop to his knees. “Pathetic,” Harry repeated and let go of Liam’s wrist before kicking his boyfriend in the stomach.

“Gahh!” Liam gasped out and fell into his side, only to receive another kick to the gut. The kicks continued: to his gut, to his shins, to his head, and then in the groin. With every painful kick came Harry’s voice right after each. “Worthless, weak, stupid, annoying,” Liam ignored him and Harry’s voice faded out but the kicks continued. He wasn’t sure how long Harry continued to beat on him, knowing at one point Harry had gone to his knees to add his fists to the equation. It could have been only a few minutes, but it felt like hours that Harry abused him.

Liam just laid there, not even attempting to fight Harry off, knowing it would only fuel Harry’s anger. He had to admit that this was the worst beating he’s ever received from Harry. Liam opened his eyes and watched as Harry’s feet finally stormed out of the bedroom, the door slamming behind him.

Liam only had two thoughts on his mind as his vision grew darker.

1\. He was glad the boys weren’t home to hear the fight.

2\. He wanted the old Harry to come back and love him again.

—

Louis pulled up to the house, noticing at the vehicles were gone except Liam’s. He went into the house, expecting Liam to be with Harry, but then he noticed a note on the fridge. “Went to visit my parents, be back in a few days- Harry”

Zayn and Niall were on a plane to Ireland, Niall taking Zayn with him to go visit his own family there. Louis had initially planned to go home as well, but decided he better stay back and make sure Liam was okay with Harry.

Louis wasn’t stupid, he knew something was up between them. He didn’t believe the lies, but yet he couldn’t get himself to believe what all the evidence was pointing to. He didn’t have the gall to confront Harry about his treatment towards Liam. What if he was wrong and Harry just blamed him again for trying to mess things up between Lirry?

Louis sighed and then instantly remembered Liam would still be in the house. “Hey Li!” he called up the stairs as he jogged up them. Maybe with Harry gone, Louis could finally get a chance to spend quality time with Liam. When he received no answer from the Wolverhampton boy, he went to the door and knocked. “Li?” he asked again and opened the door.

He gasped at the sight of Liam laying on the ground, a bloody and crumpled mess on the floor. “Liam!” he yelled and dove to his friends side. “Oh god Li, what happened?!” he asked in a rush as Liam slowly opened his eyes.

Liam groaned and looked around in a daze, not able to find the right words to explain to his friend.

“Come on, I’m taking you to the hospital,” Louis said, already pulling Liam up.

“No,” Liam managed to croak out and pushed Louis away, falling back against the wall. “I mean, I’m fine, I swear,” he said, finally finding his voice.

Louis brow furrowed. “Did Harry do this to you?” he demanded.

Liam’s eyes, that were already filled with tears, allowed them to fall down his cheeks.

Louis got his confirmation. Though he was still furious at the curly haired boy, he managed to push his anger aside and focus on Liam. “Um, okay, come here,” he said comfortingly and helped Liam to his feet. He noticed that Liam limped and tried to support him. “You’re lighter,” Louis noticed.

Liam said nothing in response, even though he knew Louis’s words were true. Harry said he didn’t like Liam having more muscle than him, and also called him fat, so Liam had stopped working out and stopped eating as much.

Louis helped Liam into Louis’s room and into his connecting bathroom. He made him sit down and told him to take off his shirt and pants.

Liam looked around uncomfortably.

“Liam, come on mate, I need to see the damage,” Louis said in a calm but comforting tone.

Liam complied then and removed his thin t-shirt and jeans.

Louis had to bite back another gasp as Liam’s bruised body came into light. He had been right about Liam losing weight, but that wasn’t what made him wince. The boy had bruises all over his torso and back, some freshly made, lots of others fading from different periods of time.

Louis started to fill the tub with warm water and Epsom salt, knowing there wasn’t much he could do for the bruises. He crouched down between Liam’s legs and started to wipe the blood off his face. His nose had been bleeding, and a small cut on his head still was. He knew he probably should have taken Liam to the hospital, but the boy looked so shaken up that he doubt he would have gone willingly. He finished wiping up the blood and put a bandage over his cut forehead. He began reaching towards Liam’s boxers and the younger boy flinched and made a noise of protest.

“Liam, please,” Louis begged, only wanting to help.

Liam gulped, looking at Louis nervously before letting the older lad remove his boxers.

If it were under any other circumstances, Louis would have been overjoyed at the idea of having a naked Liam Payne in his bathroom, but this was no happy matter. Louis felt his rage for Harry growing as he inspected Liam’s injured privates. There was blood there too and it took a lot of consoling from Louis to get Liam to tell him where it was coming from. Luckily, that injury wasn’t as serious as Louis had originally thought, but he did note the deep purple bruises on the boys thighs, arse, and hips.

Louis helped Liam into the tub and let him soak in the water. He got him to take some pain killers, but only some Advil. Liam refused to take anything stronger.

“We have stronger stuff Liam, are you sure?” Louis asked, kneeling next to the tub and wiping Liam’s cheeks with a wash cloth.

Liam nodded. “M’sure,” he said. “Harry doesn’t…” he cut himself off.

“Harry doesn’t… what, Liam?” Louis asked, wanting to know what he was going to say.

Liam shook his head, his shoulders slumping. He was going to say that Harry didn’t like it when Liam took drugs to dull the pain. Harry said it made Liam less fun at night, but Liam knew it was because he didn’t fight Harry as much, something that Liam found Harry enjoyed in bed now-a-days.

Louis sighed deeply and continued to wipe down Liam’s body, careful of his bruises. Once he thought the Epsom salt helped dull Liam’s pain, he helped him out of the tub and dressed him in a pair of Louis’s boxers, sweatpants and t-shirt. The younger boy acted like a robot, moving slowly and his face showing little emotion, except the constant rim of tears in his eyes, none of them falling at this point.

“Come on, you can sleep in my bed tonight,” Louis offered and Liam laid down, curling himself on the soft bed. Louis sat down on the other side, watching as Liam got comfortable.

“Liam, I need you to answer a question for me,” Louis said, his voice small.

Liam looked at Louis, his expression turning scared.

Louis sighed and moved closer to Liam as if not wanting anyone else to hear what he was going to ask. “Did Harry rape you?”

Liam’s eyes grew wide and the tears finally broke free. But Louis was surprised at how clear and defiant Liam’s response was. “No,” he said. “I want to sleep now,” he said and closed his eyes tightly.

Louis felt his heart swell with pain for the younger boy, but said nothing else. He just pulled the blankets over Liam, kissed his head, and then watched him fall asleep.


	3. Just Come Home, I'm Sorry

Louis woke up alone. He had fallen asleep next to the beaten boy, but now the bed was empty. “Liam?” he called as he sat up, looking around the room. He got up and checked the bathroom before realizing he wasn’t there. He went downstairs and heard Liam before he saw him.

“When are you coming back?” Liam’s voice sounded like he was crying. Louis crept up to the door and spotted Liam talking on the phone with someone, his back facing Louis.

“But I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to slip up.”

Louis was positive now, Liam was crying into the phone.

“I promise to be good, just come home,” Liam cried and Louis watched as Liam’s shoulder involuntarily shook. “No, Louis found me,” he said and then paused. “No, I didn’t tell him anything,” he said.

Louis’s mouth fell open slightly but then realized Liam actually hadn’t told him that it was Harry that had given him those injuries. But he hadn’t needed to; his broken expression told Louis what he needed to know. Louis knew and wasn’t going to let Liam weasel his way out of telling him the truth.

 

“Okay, I will,” Liam said, sniffling. “S-sorry,” he added after what Louis thought he heard Harry say something like “Stop crying” through the phone.

Louis cleared his throat loudly and stepped into the kitchen.

“I got to go, bye Hazza, I love you,” Liam said and hung up the phone before turning around. “Morning,” he said, wiping his cheeks quickly.

Louis shook his head sadly. “You’re not going to fool me Liam, I know what Harry did to you,” he said, crossing his arms.

“What are you talking about?” Liam asked, looking genuinely confused, but Louis wasn’t buying it.

“You can tell me what ever ridiculous lie Harry just told you to tell me, but I’m not believing it. I’ve never believed your lies, Li,” he said.

“I don’t have a lie to tell you Louis,” Liam started. “I was attacked last night,”

“By Harry,” Louis cut in.

Liam’s face fell into something that surprisingly looked like anger. “No, Harry had already left when some guys broke in,” he said.

“Good god Liam, Harry has you believing that lie and it happened to you!” Louis gasped.

“It’s not a lie, they came in and tried to break into our safe but I tried stopping them and they attacked me,” Liam said.

Louis rolled his eyes. “Right, so they came in, which they couldn’t have broken in by the way because we have an alarm system,” he reminded him, then continued. “Then they went to the back room to the safe, realized they couldn’t get into it, but you tried stopping them anyways? Oh yeah, lets not forget that they dragged you all the way up to your bedroom just to beat the crap out of you. Satisfied for beating the living hell out of you, they left the money and expensive stuff in the house and locked the door on their way out,” he said, the sarcasm rolling off his tongue.

Liam narrowed his eyes at Louis. “Believe it or not, but I’m sticking to it,” he said and Louis was pretty sure Liam wanted to storm past him, but he was still limping as he walked around him.

Louis bit his tongue as the boy painfully walked away, going back upstairs. He was angry at Harry: he broke Liam into this mess and even though Liam knew Louis knew the truth, he was still lying for that ungrateful son of a bitch.

Louis reached for the nearest object, which happened to be a picture of Liam and Harry backstage at one of their concerts, and threw it. It smashed against the fridge and glass and wood chips flew everywhere.

—

Liam collapsed onto his and Harry’s bed and cried into Harry’s pillow. He wasn’t sure what hurt worse: his body, or his heart. He could still feel every kick Harry had planted onto his body, his right ankle was swollen and his head was pounding. He didn’t even want to think about the pain on his groin where Harry had kicked him painfully hard the night before.

Yet despite all the pain in his body, his heart felt like it was going to fall right out of his body. He had woken up in a strange bed and was petrified when he saw Louis sleeping beside him. When the memories of the night before came back, he only calmed down a little. He owed Louis a lot for helping him, he knew, but he also knew he needed Harry to be there. He had gotten up and limped to his bed room, hoping to find Harry. But he wasn’t there and then found Harry’s note down stairs. He had instantly called him and begged for forgiveness. He shouldn’t have slipped up and it was his fault Harry left.

There was knock on the door but Liam ignored it. He didn’t want to talk to Louis. He screwed up even worse last night by not telling Louis a lie about what happened to him. But at the time, he had hoped Louis took his silence as ‘I don’t want to talk about it now’ but instead, the older boy took it as a ‘yes’ to his questions. When Louis asked if it was Harry that hurt him, he should have just said no, like the way he denied it when he asked if Harry had raped him.

Which wasn’t true, because Harry never raped him. It was true that Liam never really appreciated Harry being so rough with him, and he had been beaten almost senseless a few times, but they were in a relationship. Liam had deserved everything Harry had done to him, and he deserved to be with his boyfriend, even if Liam hadn’t exactly consented. Liam sobbed louder into his pillow, knowing how ridiculous everything he was telling himself was. But as ridiculous as it was, he believed it because he believed in Harry.

“Liam?” Louis’s voice broke through his thoughts but he continued to ignore him, burying his face in Harry’s pillows to muffle his cries.

Liam heard Louis walk further into the room and felt him sit down beside him. He tensed when Louis touched his back, but then relaxed. Louis’s hand was nice, it was comforting, unlike Harry’s.

“Liam, I’m so sorry,” Louis said, his voice cracking.

Liam wasn’t expecting that. He had been expecting Louis to come in here angry with him, demanding he be told the truth about Harry. Why was he sorry?

“I’m sorry I didn’t figure it out sooner,” Louis said, his hand gently running through Liam’s hair. “I’ve always known…. Or at least had strong suspicions, but I’ve never acted on them and for that I am so sorry,” he said and Liam winced as Louis began to cry. He continued. “I noticed every bruise, I saw through every lie, and I did absolutely nothing. Hell, I’m the reason—” he stopped talking and just began to cry.

Liam closed his eyes tightly before lifting his head to look at the Doncaster boy. “Louis? Please don’t cry,” he begged and pulled Louis to him, wrapping his arms around him.

“What are you doing, Li? I should be the one comforting you,” Louis said, but buried his face against Liam’s chest.

“Not right now,” Liam said. “I’m fine, okay?” he said, but his heart was beating rather quickly. “I don’t want to be like this anymore, Lou,” he whispered, his voice breaking.

Louis only cried harder at this, hearing the boy breaking. “I’m so sorry,” he sobbed against his chest.

“Shh,” Liam cooed, not able to not care about Louis as he cried. “What ever is going on in my life, which you think you understand, isn’t important right now. Just please be quiet, please?” Liam begged. It was hard enough hearing Louis cry over him, but his apologizing repeatedly only made his heart hurt worse and Liam wasn’t sure how much more heartbreak he could handle.

Louis claimed he knew how Harry was to Liam and that made Liam wonder: What if he stepped in sooner? If Harry knew someone else knew, would he stop? Or would it be worse? He shuddered at the thought of Harry hurting Liam worse than he already has. He felt a little anger towards Louis for not stepping up, but then quickly dismissed it. He was sure the other two boys had their suspicions as well, but never questioned it. Why? Because Liam vouched for Harry’s lies, no matter how far-fetched and ridiculous they were. Because he and Harry were in love and that was that.

“Shh,” Liam cooed again as Louis cried against his chest. Liam cried silently.

~

Louis woke up in Liam’s arms. He looked up at the sleeping boy and admired his features, under the bruising of course. He had a beautiful and youthful face, one that Louis rarely got to see because of how serious Liam always was. The boy’s protective and serious nature was something Louis admired, and luckly it was one thing that hadn’t changed about Liam when things got bad with Harry.

Thinking about Harry made Louis’s stomach burn with rage. He had taken the strong and confident Liam and broken him. Liam’s life, because of Harry, turned from the best dream ever to a life of lies, pain, and suffering. He was tempted to wake the boy and apologize again, but decided against it. He liked when Liam slept, because it meant he wasn’t here in reality: a place where Harry could hurt him.

 

But then Louis remembered the conversation he overheard this morning. Liam still loved Harry, despite everything that’s happened between them. Despite Harry hurting him, raping him, and almost killing him just last evening, Liam still listened to Harry when he told him to lie and said ‘I love you’ before hanging up.

Louis felt jealous of Harry, having Liam love him so much. But it wasn’t Harry who was laying beside Liam, was it? No, it was him: Louis Tomlinson, Liam’s knight in shining armor, even if Liam didn’t know that yet.

He was going to try and fall back asleep again, but Liam suddenly jerked in his sleep. “Li?” Louis said, shaking the boys shoulder as he struggled in his sleep, lost in a nightmare.

Liam gasped awake, pushing Louis away from him. “No, Harry, please!” he cried and Louis instantly knew that Liam thought Louis was Harry.

“Liam, hey! It’s me Louis!” Louis said, trying to pull Liam back to him, but Liam continued to struggle.

“I’ll be good, I swear!” Liam cried, still not registering that it had only been a dream and Harry really wasn’t there. Louis didn’t give up, wanting Liam to snap out of it. Liam continued to fight, but Louis hugged him tightly and Liam finally stopped struggling and whimpered against Louis’s chest. “I swear I’ll be good,” he cried.

“Oh Liam,” Louis sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

“Lou?” Liam closed his eyes tightly, and then hugged Louis tightly, snapping back into reality. He inhaled Lou’s scent, something that now seemed like a trigger for him to feel safe.

“Yeah, it’s me, Harry’s not here,” Louis promised.

Liam tensed but it faded quickly as he hugged Louis tightly.

“Want to talk about your dream?” Louis asked quietly and was surprised when Liam replied with a nod.

“Yeah, but not here okay?” Liam asked, glancing around at the worn out sheets. Sheets that used to welcome him to sleep, but now only seemed to suffocate him anymore.

“Okay, we can go down stairs, okay? Set up a movie and relax on the couch,” Louis suggested and Liam nodded. Louis helped Liam down stairs. He set up the movie and let Liam watch the opening previews while Louis changed out of the clothes he was wearing yesterday and into some comfy clothes. He returned with a bowl of popcorn. “Okay, I’m ready,” he announced, sitting down beside Liam.

“For the movie… or…?” Liam looked at him questioningly.

“I’ve already seen the movie, so I’m ready for you to spill,” Louis admitted, patting Liam’s knee lightly. “What happened in your dream?”

Liam, who finally decided he could no longer lie to Louis, told him about his dream. “In my dream, Harry came back home and was very upset with me,” he explained. “He said he had been having a good time with his family without me, but I had slipped up again by telling the press the wrong cover story for my hurt ankle and he was forced to come home and fix it,” he began. “I told him that he didn’t need to fix it and that everything was going to be okay, because you….” he glanced at Louis and frowned.

“Me? What did I do?” Louis asked, his voice gentle.

“I told Harry that you had fixed the situation for me,” Liam explained slowly. “But that only made him more angry. He claimed that I was cheating on him. Then he began hitting my face, saying that no one could have me except him,” he said and tears began to fall as he recounted the dream.

Louis slid his arms around Liam and pulled him closer, telling him to continue.

“H-he said that no one was going to want me except him, and he kept hitting my face, slapping, punching me, spitting on me,” he shook against Louis and laid his head on his shoulder. “The pain felt so real, and I couldn’t see Harry anymore because there was a lot of blood in my eyes. I kept spitting up blood and teeth, and it felt like my nose wasn‘t even on my face anymore,” he explained and closed his eyes tightly.

“Stop, please,” Louis begged, his eyes tearing up.

“I’m sorry,” Liam cried softly.

“No, don’t be, I’m sorry, continue,” Louis said, mentally cursing himself for telling Liam to stop. How many times had he himself heard Harry tell Liam to shut up or stop talking, making Liam wince and stop his story he had been trying to tell his boyfriend.

Liam took a deep breath. “When he stopped, I couldn’t see or feel my face. I could only hear his words, yelling awful things at me and then I felt his hands on my body. He used to be so loving when he touched me,” he said. “But he hurts me real bad,” he cried.

“Li, are we still talking about the dream?” Louis asked, referring to his last couple of sentences.

Liam didn’t respond, and once again, Louis took his silence for an answer that no, he wasn’t talking about the dream anymore.

“He used to show his love to me in the sweetest of ways, Lou,” Liam explained. “But now, it always hurts and once he’s finished, it’s like I don’t even matter to him, just as long as he’s happy,” he sounded bitter as he explained. “That’s not how relationships are supposed to work, right Lou? I’m supposed to be happy too,” he cried.

“You’re right Liam, that’s not how relationships are supposed to work,” Louis said. “Harry is never going to hurt you again,” he said.

“You can’t say that,” Liam said, sniffling and wiping his nose.

“Yes I can. I’m never letting him near you,” Louis explained.

“You can’t do that,” Liam said, raising his head to look at him. “Because no matter what he does, I still love him. I just want the old Harry back,” he said.

“That Harry isn’t here anymore Li,” Louis argued. “He was gone the first day he hit you,” he said.

Liam’s face crumpled and he curled up against Louis, knowing he was right. He wasn’t going to get the old Harry back, no matter how much he wanted him.

“You can love someone you should hate, but I love you too much and hate him too much to let you continue living like this,” Louis said.

“I love you too, Lou,” Liam said.

“I know you do,” Louis said and silently added, sadly, just not in the same way as I love you.


	4. Adventures & Sparks

Louis had exactly one week with Liam before Harry would return from home. In that time he planned to convince the boy to call it off with Harry. He needed Liam to see the damage that Harry had inflicted on Liam, even if he didn’t see it himself yet.

“Why are we doing this, Lou?” Liam asked as Louis dragged him through the streets of London. “We’re going to get noticed and I don’t feel like dealing with fans today,” he complained.

“We’re not going to get noticed, no one has yet, we’re fine,” Louis assured him.

“Will you please tell me what we’re doing then?” Liam asked again.

“We’re going on one of our adventures,” Louis said gleefully.

 

“Our adventures? I don’t remember going on any before,” Liam stared at him curiously.

“Sure you do,” Louis said, still holding onto Liam’s hand. Luckily the younger boy didn’t seem to mind. Louis had always been pretty touchy with his band members, apart from the past few months, but since two days ago, Liam didn’t look as uncomfortable as he normally did when Louis touched him.

“No, I’m pretty sure I don’t,” Liam said, looking around.

“Remember on tour when we would sneak out and go in search of the greasiest fast food?” Louis asked.

“Oh,” Liam frowned as he remembered. “But that wasn’t just our adventures, Lou, Harry was there too,” he explained.

“Yeah, Harry was always there but I liked to pretend he wasn’t,” Louis shrugged but then frowned when Liam’s hand disappeared from his. He stopped short and turned around to see that Liam had stopped walking and was now glaring at him. “What’s wrong Li?”

“Louis, you can’t be doing this,” Liam said, crossing his arms.

“Doing what?” Louis asked.

“Talking about Harry like he isn’t my boyfriend,” Liam explained.

“He’s not your boyfriend though Li, he’s just some jerk that you let take advantage of you,” Louis argued.

Liam rolled his eyes. “I’m going home,” he said and turned around, walking away.

“Liam, no, wait! Please, I’m sorry, I’ll stop talking about it,” Louis chased after him, jumping around him and blocking his path. “Don’t go, please?”

Liam looked at Louis, trying to see if he could trust him. “I want to take this week away from Harry to find myself again, okay? Not have you jumping down my throat when I defend my boyfriend,” he said.

Louis stepped back, looking hurt, but he nodded. “Okay,” he said. “I won’t bring him up again,” he said.

Liam took a deep breath, staring into Lou’s eyes. “Thanks,” he said. “Now are we really going to hunt down greasy fast food, because honestly, I’ve never been one for those trips,” he admitted.

“No, not exactly,” Louis said and began walking with Liam again in the direction they were heading before. “There’s food, it’s just not fast food,” he said.

“Then where?”

“It’s a surprise,” Louis said and smiled.

Liam, despite wanting to return home and just go to sleep early, continued to follow Louis through the streets of London on one of ‘their adventures’, what ever that meant. He was annoyed what Louis said about pretending Harry hadn’t been with them when they snuck out during tour, but he was also a little flattered that he cared so much about those evenings to label it.

As the buildings began to disappear and the woods began to grow deeper and thicker, Liam’s sense of adventure began to grow weary. “Louis, I don’t’ think you’re going to find a restaurant out here,” he said, shivering slightly.

Louis looked back and smiled sheepishly. “We’re not going to a restaurant,” he explained and took Liam’s hand again. Liam relaxed and squeezed Louis’s warm hand and continued to follow him through the woods.

Liam was just about to tell Louis that his sense of adventure was running low and he was just going to go home, when they reached a lake. Liam stopped at the edge of the trees, releasing Louis’s hand as the eager boy continued towards the edge of the lake. Liam was dumbfounded: he never knew there was a lake out there, let alone one so… so beautiful. There were ducks swimming around and fish jumping. The grass around it was very green and the water was surprisingly clear. What was also astounding was that Louis was sitting on a blanket laid out in the grass with a smug look on his face.

“What is this?” Liam asked as he approached the blanket. Louis was pulling out picnic foods from a basket and laying it out in front of him.

“This is our adventure,” Louis said with a wide grin. “It’s not some greasy chips in a shady diner, but I thought it was nice,” he shrugged.

“Wow,” Liam said and sat down beside Louis. “When’d you do this?” he asked, a small smile on his face.

“I brought everything out while you were napping,” Louis explained. “Now eat up!”

Liam grinned and looked at all the food. There were a couple different kinds of sandwiches, some chicken, fruit salad, pasta salad, and some cider to drink. “This is very cliché of you,” he said.

Louis bit his lip. “Is it?” he asked, his cheeks turning a little red.

Liam looked at him and his expression softened. “It’s not a bad thing, Louis,” he explained, reaching out and poking his red cheek. “I love it, thank you,” he grinned.

Louis’s smile returned. “You’re welcome,” he said, glad to see Liam smiling so easily again.

The boys ate their picnic, making light conversation about anything and everything. Liam discovered that he and Louis had a lot more in common than he originally thought. They both knew the simple things about each other, like their favorite foods, their preferred video game, etc. But as Louis explained his life before the X-Factor, Liam discovered another side to Louis. The older lad also had a lot more charisma than he ever showed on T.V. before; he was a very caring and responsible when it came to his little sisters. Also, Louis had been bullied a lot when he got the lead in his high school production of Grease, and it took a lot of courage for him to even consider auditioning for X-Factor. ‘Well I’m really glad you did,’ Liam had told him.

After they finished their food, the boys laid down on the blanket together and watched the clouds. This time though, Liam had been the one to take Louis’s hand. Liam was glad that Louis didn’t seem to mind; he realized that he needed Louis’s touch and comfort right now, it kept his mind off his problems with Harry.

Louis tried asking Liam questions about his life before X-Factor, but he was very closed off about it. That meant the focus was based on Louis’s life, despite Louis wanting to get to know Liam.

“What was the most memorable moment you had from the tour?” Liam asked, his fingers laced with the older boy’s.

Louis had to think about how to respond, despite knowing the answer. His most memorable moment was the night Liam got knocked on the head with a heavy phone that a fan threw up on stage. As horrid as that sounds, the reason he liked that moment so much was because he had been the one to volunteer to stay up with Liam that night to make sure there was no signs of a concussion. Liam probably didn’t remember it well, but Louis did. They stayed up playing video games and talked about the tour, nothing like the talk they were having now, but it still had been nice. Liam had complained a little about Harry saying he needed his sleep and couldn’t stay up with his boyfriend, but Liam was thankful to Louis for volunteering.

“Anything for you, Li,” Louis had said.

“Erm,” Louis pursed his lips in the present, trying to think of another moment he could use instead of that one. He was already teetering on Liam’s good and bad side, he didn’t want to bring up a memory that had probably been bad for Liam.

“I know, I have too many to count too,” Liam said with a small laugh.

“Oh, right,” Louis said, feigning a laugh. “Too many good times, I can’t pick just one,” he agreed.

The conversation died into a comfortable silence as they watched the clouds roll by. Liam felt a chill run through him again as the sun started to fall and he moved closer to Louis.

Louis released Liam’s hand and put his arms around him, cuddling the younger boy. “You cold, Li?”

Liam nodded and laid his head on Louis’s chest. “Is this what it’s supposed to feel like?” he asked in a small voice.

Louis knew what Liam was asking and he felt some guilt, but it was small in comparison to how relieved that his plan was working. “Yeah, this is what a real relationship is supposed to feel like, Liam,” he said just as quietly.

Liam sighed softly and looked up at Louis, his expression sad. “Will you kiss me?” he whispered.

Louis nodded slowly and pulled Liam closer before pressing his lips gingerly against Liam’s. His lips were moist, warm, and the kiss made Louis feel warm from his head to his toes. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting from a kiss from Liam, but this was beyond anything he could ever imagine. It was sweet and gentle and he didn’t want to ever break this connection with him.

But it was broken when Louis felt something wet hit the top of his lips. He pulled out of the kiss and licked his lips, tasting the salt. “Li?” his voice shook as he looked at Liam’s tear-streaked face.

“I’m so sorry,” Liam sobbed and collapsed against Louis, burying his face in his shirt.

“Why are you crying?” Louis asked.

Liam just shook his head, not wanting to answer. “Can we go home?” he whimpered.

“Sure,” Louis nodded and sat up, his arms wrapped around Liam’s trembling form. He managed to get everything into the basket again and kept one arm around Liam as they made their hike back towards their home. Louis could only imagine the thoughts racing through Liam’s head, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. He obviously wasn’t angry with Louis for kissing him… he had asked him to, plus he was clinging to the older boy as if he were going to disappear any moment. Louis’s only conclusion was that Liam was feeling guilty and that made Louis feel guilty as well. He didn’t want Liam to hurt anymore, that wasn’t his plan. He only wanted to make Liam happy again.

~

Liam smiled, letting out a peaceful moan. He was content where he was, on the verge to waking up but yet not fully awake yet. He could feel his limbs slowly regaining feeling after being still for so long and there was a tingling running up from his toes.

“Liam.”

The voice was just a whisper, even quieter as he continued to wake up. He felt familiar fingers running through his hair, but that only made him want to fall back to sleep. The hands moved from his hair then and ran down his arms, gently caressing his small muscles and then picking up his hand. He felt the long fingers lacing through his and Liam smiled again.

“Liam,” the voice whispered again and then he felt a pair of warm lips pressing against his cheeks. The lips continued moving from his cheek to his jaw line; these kisses were gentle and sweet.

Liam’s eyes moved under his lids before he opened his eyes to see the face of his caresser.

Harry was hovering above Liam, smiling softly. “Hey there,” he said sweetly.

 

Liam’s eyes widened and he felt his heart leap to his throat.

“Surprise,” Harry said in a gentle tone: a tone that only reminded Liam of their better days.

“H-Harry?” Liam gasped slightly, blinking rapidly as the mop of dark curly hair moved to brush against Liam’s chin.

Harry gently kissed the birth mark on Liam’s neck before lifting his head again. “Yeah babe, I came home from my trip early,” he said, unlacing their fingers and cupping his boyfriend’s face. “I missed you,” he explained, his deep voice returning to normal level.

“Did you?” Liam’s voice couldn’t get higher than a whisper. Liam hoped Harry couldn’t hear how hard his heart was pounding. Firstly, he hadn’t expected Harry back until another week. Secondly, this Harry wasn’t at all what he had been expecting, especially based of their last phone call. He expected Harry to come home and completely flip out on Liam for one of the many reasons Harry could muster up.

“Yeah, I could barely sleep in my own bed at home without you by my side,” Harry explained slowly, running his fingers through Liam’s hair again. “I see you missed me too,” he said and nodded towards Liam’s other hand.

Liam looked down and saw that he held Harry’s pillow to his side. “But how…?” he said softly but then stopped, giving Harry a small smile. “I guess so,” he said. He didn’t want to voice his question of how he got in this bed; he could have sworn he fell asleep in Louis’s bed with him last night. But now he was in his own bed, gripping onto Harry’s pillow with the boy in question still playing with his hair and smiling lovingly at him.

“What did you do since I’ve been gone? It must have been lonely,” Harry said, his finger brushing over the still fading bruise on Liam’s jaw.

“Louis was here,” Liam said but then tensed again as if Harry was going to strike out at him.

Harry’s face changed alright, but it wasn’t to anger, it was just jealously. Tamed jealousy thankfully and Harry took a deep breath to control himself. “Right, he was,” he said in a calm town. “He isn’t in the house so he must have gotten bored of your company,” he said with a dry laugh before nuzzling against Liam again.

Liam’s jaw clenched tightly and he fought the urge to comment on that statement. He was wondering where Louis had gotten to though. “Erm, maybe,” he said, forcing a smile. He moved his arms around Harry and began sitting up.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Harry asked, pouting up at him.

“I’m getting up,” Liam stated, confused.

“But I just got home…” Harry stated giving Liam a suggested look.

“Harry,” Liam sighed deeply, his heart beginning to race from fear. Normally when Harry said ‘I just got home’, it meant he wanted to have sex with his boyfriend and Liam wasn’t ready for that.

“No, I don’t want to lay you right now Liam, we can do that later,” Harry said with a small smile, pecking Liam’s cheek. “I mean I just got off a red eye flight, and I didn’t get an ounce of sleep,” he explained. “I wanted you to cuddle with me while I caught up on my sleep,” he said.

“Oh,” Liam said, visibly relaxing. He wasn’t ready for Harry to return to his old ways of taking Liam, but the boy was surprised at how Harry seemed to be choosing his words extra carefully. “I’ll lay here with you until you fall asleep?” he suggested.

“Thank you,” Harry said and kissed Liam’s lips fully for the first time since returning.

Liam returned the kiss, but didn’t close his eyes. He felt his heart pound, making himself feel dizzy even though he was sitting. Harry’s kiss made him feel sparks. It felt like lightening racing down his spine, almost painful, but it left a sweet tingling all over his body every time. Harry hadn’t kissed Liam like that in months.

“You okay?” Harry asked.

“Yeah,” Liam said, genuinely smiling at his boyfriend. “I’m okay,” he said, pulling Harry into a comfortable cuddle in the bed.

“Good,” Harry said, laying his head on Liam’s chest. “Sing to me,” he said and Liam did as he said and softly sang ‘Same Mistakes’ as he cuddled his boyfriend to sleep. Once Harry’s breathing evened out, he felt his eyes closing.

—

Louis turned down his radio as he pulled into the long drive way that led up to his house. His voice that had been singing along to the Beatles’ song died out as he recognized Harry’s car parked outside of the garage. “No,” he gasped, pulling up behind the convertible and cutting the engine. The milk and eggs he just bought, forgotten in passenger seat, Louis took off into the house. “Come on!” he growled as he punched in the security code that would let him into the front door.

“Liam!” Louis yelled, his only fear was that he was going to find his best friend and secret love dead or on the brink, with sadistic Harry standing over him covered in his blood. He had only been gone half an hour to go get stupid eggs and milk for breakfast and in that time Harry had returned home. Louis wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if something happened to Liam.

“Liam!” Louis yelled again as he finally got into the house. He looked around as he ran towards the stairs and was about to yell his friends name again when he spotted Liam at the top of the stairs.

“Shush, you’ll wake him up!” Liam hissed, quickly but quietly going down the stairs, meeting Louis half way.

“Shush?! Me?! Hell no! I plan to wake him up and tell him to get the hell out of here!” Louis exclaimed.

“Lou, shut up, please,” Liam begged, trying really hard to hide his tears.

Louis went quiet when he realized how scared Liam looked. “Did he hurt you?” he demanded, his voice soft.

Liam shook his head and glanced behind him before taking Louis’s hand and leading him down stairs.

“Li, please tell me if he did something,” Louis asked. The only reason he wasn’t upstairs pounding Harry’s face in was because Liam looked like he really needed him.

 

“He didn‘t do anything,“ Liam said, letting go of Louis’s hand once they reached the kitchen. He turned to face Louis, still trying to hold back tears. “I woke up and he was just there, cuddling me and talking about how much he missed me,” he explained. “It was like the past month never happened,” he said with a weak shrug.

“But it did happen, Li,” Louis said, his voice a little sharper than he wanted, but he continued anyways. “He hurt you and he’s going to continue to hurt you if you let him,” he said.

“I’m not going to let him,” Liam said. “Plus, I think visiting his family really changed him,” he said, believing everything he was saying. “He said he could barely sleep without me by his side,” he said, a small smile showing on his lips, making Louis’s frown deeply.

“But what about you? What did these past two days do for you?” Louis’s asked, feeling like he was only setting himself up for heartbreak. He stared at Liam, wanting but also fearing to hear the truth.

Liam stared back into his eyes and his smile disappeared.

Louis gulped. “Did you realize that you could barely sleep without him by your side too? That me holding you while you cried yourself to sleep meant nothing? That our kiss meant nothing?” Louis forced himself to look away from the other boy and felt a sob rustle though him.

When Louis looked up again, he saw the tears rolling down Liam’s face. Louis took a very deep breath, sensing that Liam wasn’t going to say anything, or couldn’t, he wasn‘t sure. “You once told me that Harry’s kiss made you feel sparks,” he said, his voice trembling as he spoke. “What did you feel when you kissed me?”

Liam looked away, staring at the ground as he wiped his eyes and nose. “I didn’t feel sparks,” he said, his own voice breaking. “I felt nothing,” he said and ran from the kitchen.

Louis was left alone, his heart ripped in two.


	5. I Can't Protect You If You Go/I Need You

Liam managed to make it to the bathroom before his legs collapsed beneath him. He propped himself up against the bathtub, sobbing against the shower curtain. Like Louis, his own heart felt like it had been ripped in two. But it was Liam’s own fault. He just lied to his best friend.

He had been honest when he said he hadn’t felt sparks when he kissed Louis.

But he lied when he said he felt nothing. He had felt something and oh how powerful that something had been. He remembered the moment perfectly. Louis’s lips were thinner and colder than Harry’s, but yet they made Liam feel so warm. Instead of an electric shock racing though him, Louis’s kiss made an intense pulsating sensation over Liam’s entire being. For a small moment, Liam wasn’t sure he would have been able to move his body. He felt paralyzed. At the time, he thought he had cried in the middle of the kiss because of the guilt he held for kissing another guy, but that hadn’t been the whole story. He felt worse about that fact that he liked Louis’s kiss so much more than Harry’s. Harry used to make him feel safe, but now Louis’s’ held that job.

Only now, Harry seemed to be his safe haven again. Liam didn’t fully trust Harry yet, but the boy he met at the beginning seemed to have returned, instead of the monster that had been sharing Liam’s bed for the past month.

“Li? You okay?” Harry’s voice called from the other side of the door.

Liam tensed and wiped at his cheeks. “Y-Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec!” he called, standing up and trying to put himself back together. He had faith that Harry was back, but he didn’t want to test it by having to explain what happened with Louis yesterday.

“Oh, okay,” Harry said, but Liam could see Harry’s shadow still waiting outside the door.

Liam looked at himself in the mirror and almost jumped from fright at his own reflection. His bruises were faded into ugly yellow splotches on his face and his red eyes made him look even worse. Louis made your eyes red, but look what Harry did, the voice inside his head said and Liam shuddered.

 

Liam quickly washed his face and then put eye drops in his eyes before opening the door.

“Li? You okay babe?” Harry asked, looking worried.

“Never been better,” Liam said, walking to Harry and pulling him into a hug. “I’m just glad you’re home,” he said.

—

Louis had yet to move from the spot he had been standing in when Liam tore his heart out. He couldn’t believe it, yet Liam said it clear as day: he had felt nothing when Louis had kissed him yesterday. Louis on the other hand had felt so much emotion just from that one kiss, he didn’t think it was humanly possible.

He slowly raised his head as he heart foot steps. He turned around to see Harry walking in, pulling Liam behind him.

“Hey Lou,” Harry said brightly, his smile wide.

Louis glared at Harry and completely ignored Liam.

Liam released Harry’s hand as his boyfriend went to the fridge, and took a seat at the bar.

Louis spun on his heels to Harry. “So… how was your trip?” he asked through clenched teeth.

“It was fine, but I couldn’t stand being away from Li so long, I came back early,” Harry explained, winking at Liam as he poured himself a glass of orange juice.

Louis let out a cold laugh. “Oh, I’m sure,” he scoffed, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Harry frowned and looked at Louis. “Excuse me?” he asked.

Louis scoffed again. “Excuse you? Excuse you?!” He gasped, his hands balling up inside his pockets.

“Lou, what’s your problem?” Harry asked, astonished at Louis’s reaction.

“I think you know what my problem is, Styles,” Louis said, stepping up to Harry in a threatening manner.

Harry backed up against the fridge and stared up as Louis cornered him. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know what’s been up your ass lately, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t take it out on me,” he said calmly.

“I know what you’ve done to Liam!!” Louis yelled out, not caring anymore. Even if Liam broke his heart, he wasn’t going to stand back and pretend that Harry didn’t hurt Liam.

Harry’s eyes flashed from Louis to over his shoulder at Liam, who was sitting, trembling on the stool and staring at the ground. Harry looked back at Louis and a small smirk appeared on his face. “Oh really? What has he told you?” he asked, his hand tightening on the glass.

“He didn’t have to tell me anything Harry! It’s obvious!” Louis snapped, poking the younger boy’s chest.

Harry rolled his eyes. “You know nothing, Tomlinson,” he said.

“Shut.Up,” Louis said sternly and Harry actually looked a little scared. Louis continued to poke Harry’s chest. “I don’t know what caused you to change so much Harry, but I am never letting you hurt Liam again!” he yelled. “I’m the one that had to clean up the mess you left Liam in the other day! You could have killed him!”

Harry’s body bounced against the fridge and his orange juice spilt over his hand. “My relationship is my business, NOT YOURS!” he exclaimed and jerked his hand, making the juice fly from the cup and splashing into Louis’s face.

“Gahh!” Louis yelled out, stepping back and putting his palms over his eyes to try and stop the burn. “You fucking twat!” he screamed, but couldn’t open his eyes to see Harry.

“I’m the twat?! You’re the one messing in my relationship!” Harry yelled at Louis.

Louis moved his hands, wanting to be able to glare at Harry as they argued, but he still couldn’t get pass the burning. “It’s not your relationship, Harry! Liam is there too but you don’t seem to give a fuck about him!” he yelled and gasped when he felt a hand hit his face. He yelled out and stumbled, falling into the island and then falling onto his back.

Louis opened his eyes and saw Harry leaning over him. “I care about Liam too much to just stand here and listen to your shit,” he growled. Louis squinted up at Harry and then looked over at Liam who had his eyes closed and was shaking where he sat, his hands gripping tightly onto his knees.

“He’s never going to love you,” Harry continued, his voice in a evil whisper. “So back off, okay? I’m not going anywhere, so you can leave Liam and I alone,” he said and stood up. “Come on, Li, we’re leaving,” he said.

Louis sat up quickly and looked at Liam. “Li, please don’t go,” Louis cried.

Liam raised his head and made eye contact with Louis, which caused the tears to fall down the Wolverhampton boy’s cheeks. He opened his mouth to apologize, but then realized he couldn’t speak without completely breaking down. Instead, he looked at Harry who stood at the door way holding his hand out for Liam.

“Liam, please, I can‘t protect you if you leave,” Louis cried softly, watching as Liam stood up and took Harry’s hand, and left.

—-

Liam blindly followed Harry out of the house, his hand loose in the younger boy’s tight grasp. He couldn’t believe what he just witnessed. He couldn’t believe what he just witnessed and he just sat there. He watched the two most important people in his life scream at each other, over a topic that strongly involved Liam, and he just sat there. He did nothing. He did nothing because through the entire thing, he had no idea who to defend. On the surface, he felt he should have defended Harry. He was his boyfriend after all, and Louis was making very strong accusations. But deep down he knew it should have been Louis he should have stood up for. Louis was trying to protect Liam.

“Li?” Harry cleared his throat, bringing Liam out of his thoughts. “Come on,” he said, tugging on his hand and opening the passenger door for Liam to get in.

“Where are we going?” Liam asked, surprised by his own voice. He sounded as if he had been the one just screaming his lungs out.

“Anywhere, I don’t care, I just can’t be here with that prick anymore,” Harry said, letting go of Liam’s hand and cupping his face. “Look what he did,” he sighed, wiping the tears for Liam’s cheeks.

Liam stared into Harry’s eyes but couldn’t manage to stop the tears. He got into Harry’s car and his boyfriend closed the car door before going around and getting into the driver’s side.

Liam couldn’t control his tears, but he managed to cry silently as Harry drove. He could feel Harry’s eyes on him every so often, but Liam didn’t ever look up. He didn’t pay attention to where Harry was driving him, he didn’t mind if they never stopped. He just wanted to curl up and die. He was hurting now more than he ever had before. Any one of Harry’s beatings or nights he took advantage of Liam never made him feel this terrible. He was completely torn.

“Liam?” Harry’s voice broke Liam from his trance once again and Liam looked up finally, realizing that they were parked out front of a hotel. Harry unbuckled and got out.

Liam unbuckled and got out of the car, looking up at the tall building.

“I figured we could hide out here for a while,” Harry shrugged and led Liam inside. Luckily there was no one except the parking guy around. It was a nice hotel but not the most popular so they could avoid fans seeing them.

“Why?” Liam asked. Damn, why was his voice still so shaky and quiet?

“Because,” Harry said, leaving it at that. He led Liam around the building by tugging on his t-shirt, leading him on like a lost puppy. Harry got a room and walked Liam up to it.

Harry closed the door and then pulled Liam onto the bed, cuddling him. “I’m sorry about what Louis did to you babe,” he said, kissing Liam’s forehead.

“What do you mean?” Liam asked, gulping as he tried to figure out just what Harry was talking about.

“His accusations on me made you cry,” Harry said, brushing more of Liam’s tears away.

“Harry…” Liam sighed, closing his eyes tightly. “You know that they’re not false accusations though,” he whispered.

Harry pulled his hand away from Liam’s face and Liam flinched, waiting for the hit.

But it never came.

“I know,” Harry whispered, his hand returning to cup Liam’s face. He began kissing Liam’s tears away. “But it’s still none of his business,” he said between kisses that were now moving down Liam’s neck.

Louis cares about me, that’s all, so how is it not his business?

Liam thought to himself. “Harry, this is how a real relationship is supposed to feel like,” he explained calmly, opening his eyes again.

“Yeah… are you complaining about it or something?” Harry asked, lifting his head again to see Liam’s face.

Then Liam saw it. It was the look in Harry’s eyes that told Liam that Harry the monster wasn’t gone forever. He was only hidden, just behind Harry’s eyes, waiting for something to release him.

“N-No,” Liam said immediately, not wanting to bring that Harry back again.

“Good,” Harry’s expression softened and he continued his kisses down Liam’s neck.

Liam was good at tip-toeing around Harry’s trigger points, so he just had to be careful, and maybe, just maybe, he could keep this Harry forever.

~

Liam woke up the next morning in an unfamiliar bed, alone. He sat up slowly, looking around the room, unsure exactly of how he got there. He looked around and spotted Harry’s shoes kicked off on the floor, and then he remembered. He remembered Harry and Louis’s fight yesterday and that Harry decided it was best for the couple to stay at a hotel for a couple of days.

Liam pulled himself out of bed and walked to the door that was half open. “Hazza?” he called as he stepped out, and he spotted his boyfriend standing near the small kitchenette, his back facing Liam as he seemed to be staring at the ground.

“Haz?” Liam repeated as he stepped closer. He frowned and stepped around Harry’s motionless form and noticed Harry was looking at Liam’s phone.

“How could you do this to me?” Harry asked, his eyes snapping up and glaring at Liam.

Liam’s eyes widened slightly. “What are you talking about?” he asked, looking at the phone. He had nothing on his phone that would upset Harry, or as far as he knew he didn’t.

“This!” Harry yelled and shoved the phone screen in Liam’s face.

Liam stepped back and took phone so he could read the screen.

From Louis:[2:47a.m.]:

I’m so sorry about everything. I never should have kissed you. This is all my fault.

Liam blinked at the screen. Oh no, he thought, moments beofre Harry’s first came flying towards his face. Liam’s head snapped back as Harry’s fist collided with his nose and Liam fell back against the wall, the phone clattering to the ground.

Then it began.

 

Liam’s head smacked off the wall, leaving him momentarily dazed.

“How dare you fucking cheat on me, Liam!” Harry’s voice screamed and Liam felt the other boy’s large hands grasp and his hair, pulling him forward.

“I-I didn’t!” Liam said but then cried out as his feel slipped from under him. Harry ignored Liam’s cries as he dragged Liam across the room by his hair, his other hand around his neck. Liam’s bare feet kicked out along the floor, and it looked like a scene from a horror movie as he was drug back to the bedroom.

Harry tossed Liam onto the bed and was pinning him down in an instant. “How could you do that?!” he demanded.

“Please, let me explain!” Liam cried, but then his air suddenly disappeared as Harry’s hands wrapped around his throat. Liam clawed at Harry’s hands, but he only squeezed tighter.

“I love you Liam. How could you cheat on me?” Harry growled in anger.

Just as Liam felt like he was going to pass out from lack of oxygen, Harry removed his hands from Liam’s throat.

Liam coughed and sputtered, wheezing for oxygen. “I-I’m sorry,” he coughed painfully, pinching his eyes closed.

“I’m tired of your shit, Liam,” Harry said and pressed his arm against Liam’s throat again, but only pressing enough to make Liam open is eyes. “Tell me the truth. Did all you do was kiss him?”

Liam nodded weakly, tears rolling down his cheeks, mixing with the blood running from his nose.

Harry narrowed his eyes. “I don’t’ believe you!” he yelled and hit Liam’s face again.

Liam whimpered, not even trying to defend himself. If Harry didn’t believe him, there was nothing he could do to change his mind now.

“I fucking trusted you, Liam!” Harry yelled, yanking Liam up and throwing him across the bed with unimaginable strength.

Liam’s body flew and then bounced off the bed, resulting in him bashing his head off of the night stand. His vision went black but he felt his body land with a thud on the white carpeted floor. His vision returned as he felt Harry’s hands dragging him by his legs. “Wh-what’r you doin’?” Liam’s voice slurred, his temple bleeding blood profusely.

“Showing you who’s the one in charge here,” Harry snarled, dropping Liam’s legs.

Liam’s blurry vision faded in and out as Harry lifted his body, tossing him on the bed. He was unable to move his limbs as Harry began to strip Liam of his clothes.

Move! You idiot, don’t let him do this again!

His voice was screaming at him, but as much as his mind was telling him to fight, his body wasn’t cooperating. He could still feel the blood leaking from his temple, and his vision continued to swarm. This head injury was more serious than the others, and Liam felt his stomach twist in a knot.

“I never trusted Louis, but you? I thought you understood that jealously doesn’t sit well with me,” Harry snarled and rolled Liam’s naked body over so he was face down in the too-clean of bedding.

Liam closed his eyes, wanting to just black out. He could feel the blood soaking onto the sheets, and he felt nauseas realizing that Harry didn’t care. He cared that Liam was his, but not about him himself.

Harry’s hands were cruel and unforgiving as they moved on Liam’s body.

“Lou….” Liam sobbed quietly before darkness finally overcame him.

—

Liam woke up on the floor beside the hotel bed. His body looked like a mangled mess, his cheek pressed against the carpet. He could hear the sound of a shower running and he moved his eyes towards the bathroom, where he saw steam rolling out from the bottom of the door. The room was dark and cold, like it was aware of the horrid act that just occurred.

Liam gulped and then parted his lips in a small gasp from the pain. His wind wipe was swollen and it hurt to move his jaw. His limbs still felt heavy, but he could move his fingers and toes. He knew he was in a bad way and almost welcomed the darkness again as his vision began to blur….almost. He could hear Harry’s voice singing in the shower.

Singing? He was singing, as Liam laid dieing on the carpet of some hotel?! Well he wasn’t dieing, but he sure felt like it. He knew he had to get out of there. He had been wrong to trust Harry again, and Liam only wished he had listened to Louis when he begged him not to go. Thinking about Louis made Liam’s body shake. He let out a groan as the shaking caused the pain Liam’s body endured to become very prominent. He needed to get out of there.

Very slowly, he began to move his arms. It took almost a full ten minutes before he got himself into his back and he was panting from the effort. He paused and listened to Harry, who had stopped singing, but the shower was still running. Liam swallowed and once again gasped from the pain. He turned his head, ignoring his blurry vision, and his eyes landed on the telephone that rested on the night stand: the same night stand where Liam’s temple had bashed off earlier. He wasn’t sure how long ago that even was. The blinds were drawn so tight that he wasn’t sure if it was daytime or night time. But it didn’t matter, he just had to get to the phone.

Liam was counting his lucky stars that Harry decided to take one of his long showers today, because Liam felt like a snail as he dragged his broken body across the carpet. He ignored the blood that was staining the carpet, and forced himself not to look up on the bed. He collapsed against the side of the bed and caught his breath before reaching for the phone. Something in his mind made the world suddenly tilt and his hand missed the phone, knocking it off the stand and onto the floor with a clatter.

Liam’s eyes snapped to the door and he heard the water turn off. NO! He fell forward towards the phone, concentrating on pressing the right numbers. He messed it up the first time but got it right the next time. He curled his body up as he pressed the hotel phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

“I need you, Louis,” Liam sobbed.

—

“Who is this?” Louis asked and then mentally slapped himself. The boy on the other side of the phone didn’t even sound like Liam but he knew exactly who it was. “Liam? Where are you? Are you hurt?” he asked. Of course he was hurt!

“I-I’m at th-that one hotel,” Liam’s voice croaked, and Louis was struggling trying to figure out exactly what he was saying.

“Hotel? What hotel?” Louis asked urgently, already scrambling for his keys. He hadn’t slept all night, he was too worried about Liam. He almost cried himself to sleep a few times but then his mind would make sure he stayed awake. What if Liam calls? What if he needs you?

“The Jefferson,” Liam managed to say and Louis winced, sensing the boy was in pain. He ran to his car.

“I’m on my way!” Louis said. “Where is Harry, Liam?” he asked, wasting no time with a seatbelt as he bolted from the driveway.

“B-bathroom,” Liam sputtered. “Hurry!” he suddenly cried and there was a clatter as if he dropped the phone.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Louis heard Harry’s voice in the background. Louis felt the blood drain from his face as he heard Liam whimper, a loud crash, and then nothing.

—

“You have to tell me what room they’re in! It’s an emergency!” Louis yelled at the small woman behind the hotel desk.

The woman sighed heavily and began typing at her computer. She initially refused to give out the room number of the two famous boy band members at first, but she felt a soft spot for this boy. She recognized Louis, obviously, but she’s never seen someone so determined and scared all at the same time. “Room 321,” she said and watched Louis dashing to the stair case.

Louis sprinted up the stairs, pushing past the few others in the staircase, ignoring their complaints. He ran down the hallway, his head spinning as he read the numbers quickly, determined to find the right room. “Liam!” he yelled as he found the door and began pounding on it. He heard movement on the other side of the door.

“Harry! Open this damn door right now or I swear to god I am calling the police!” Louis threatened, not caring if the surrounding rooms heard the commotion.

After a couple of minutes of pounding and screaming, the door flew open. A hand reached out and pulled Louis into the hotel room and the door slammed behind him.

Louis saw nothing but red as he flew at Harry, tackling the boy to the ground. “I’m going to kill you!” he screamed, raising his fist to hit Harry, but the younger body grabbed his wrist and shoved Louis off of him.

“Calm the fuck down!” Harry yelled.

Louis got to his feet, panting heavily and his pores almost dripping with anger. “Where is he?!” he demanded.

Harry’s eyes flashed to the door behind Louis. Louis shoved Harry back to the ground before sprinting to the room. “Liam?” he called and flicked on the lights. He almost fainted from the sight.

The white room was a disaster. Bloody and dirty sheets had been half pulled off the bed, night stands knocked over, the carpet stained with blood. Liam’s blood.

“Liam!” Louis gasped and ran to the naked boy on the ground. Liam was curled up beside the fallen phone, which Louis noticed had been ripped from the wall. He was shaking and had his eyes closed tightly.

Liam shook his head, not believing that Louis was really there.

“I’m here Li, he can’t hurt you,” Louis promised and pulled Liam up. The boy didn’t protest but he whimpered in pain as his body was moved and Louis’s heart ached. “I’m getting you out of here,” he said and pulled the clean extra blanket that had fallen off the bed and wrapped it around Liam’s trembling form.

Louis knew he had to get Liam clothed before he was going to get him out of the hotel, but for now he just wanted to get him out of this room. He attempted to pull Liam to his feet, but the boy only cried out and fell down again. Louis had no choice but to pick him up. “Shh, I got you,” he whispered soothingly and carried him out to the main part of the hotel room.

Harry was standing by the door, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “I think something’s wrong with me, Lou,” he said, his eyes not leaving Liam as tears rolled down his cheeks.

Louis bit his tongue and ignored Harry, setting Liam down on the leather couch. He grabbed another blanket and covered Liam with it. Then he walked up to Harry, who was now shaking.

“There is a hell of a lot wrong with you, Harry,” Louis said, his voice sharp. “Now you listen to me, and you listen to me good. I want you to walk out of this hotel room right now and never, and I mean never come back. You try to contact Liam, or me, I will personally hunt you down and kill you. I don’t care what messed up story you have thought up to defend yourself with, I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear any excuse you have to offer. I don’t want to see your face in my presence again. Ever. Do I make myself clear?”

Harry stared at Louis and simply nodded. He turned and opened the door. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered before disappearing out the door.


	6. Broken Liam

6 Days Later

“Are you sure they’re here?” Niall asked, as he walked into the house and dropped his luggage by the stairs.

“Yeah, there are cars in the driveway,” Zayn explained, putting his bags on top of Niall’s.

“We should probably take those upstairs, or Liam will get mad,” Niall said thoughtfully but made no move to pick them up. Instead, he walked to the living room and face planted onto the couch. He was exhausted after a long week in Ireland with his family. He loved his family to death but going back home after becoming so successful was a lot of pressure. He was very glad Zayn went with him.

Niall smiled into the couch pillow as he felt Zayn’s hand on his back. “Babe? Do you want to go see who’s here and do it now, or rest first?” he asked, his voice very anxious.

Niall thought about it before turning around. “Let’s do it now, I feel if I have time to think about it, I’ll chicken out,” he said, blushing slightly.

“Okay,” Zayn said and took Niall’s hand, pulling him off the couch.

Yes, Ziall was real. It wasn’t something old either, like Lirry had been. This thing they had going was new; sparked by their recent trip. They kind of stumbled onto these feelings for each other, but they never felt more comfortable with the idea.

“Liam? Haz? Lou?” Zayn called up the stairs and waited for a response. He frowned slightly and looked at Niall. “Maybe they aren’t here,” he shrugged and then looked back up the stairs when he heard a door.

Neither of the boys were aware of the situation that occurred not even a week earlier. Like Louis, they held their suspicions of Liam and Harry’s relationship not being very healthy, but they never suspected it to be at the extent it was. “Louis, where’s Li and Haz?” Niall questioned as Louis jogged down the stairs to the other two.

Louis looked at the boys’ locked hands but decided not to ask about it yet. He had other things that needed to be dealt with first. “Li’s asleep, Harry’s not here,” he explained.

Zayn and Niall both took a moment to look over Louis’s appearance. His clothes were wrinkled, his eyes tired, and he seemed paler. “Are you alright Lou?” Zayn questioned.

Louis nodded and he glanced over his shoulder before ushering the two guys back to the living room. “I need to talk to you guys,” he explained.

“Well we have something we’d like to talk to you about to, but it’d be easier if Harry and Liam are here too,” Niall explained, but took a seat beside Zayn on the couch and Louis sat on the edge of the chair.

“I see that,” Louis said, looking at their locked hands, and smiled softly before it faded away. “It’s about Liam and Harry,” he said and then began the story.

 

He left nothing out. He couldn’t afford to leave out any detail, including Louis major crush on Liam and having his suspicions of the Lirry relationship abuse for a while.

“You found Liam beaten?” Niall gasped, unable to comprehend what his friend was telling him. “Harry wouldn’t do that,” he said, but sounded unsure. “I mean, I figured something was up, but, no, no,” he shook his head and Zayn put his arms around him.

“It’s true Niall, even though I wish it wasn’t,” Louis explained with a sad shake of his head. “Harry had Liam so brain washed that the poor boy didn’t think anything was wrong. He thought he deserved all of it,” he said, disgusted.

Niall covered his mouth, trying not to cry.

“How is Liam now? Where’s Harry?” Zayn asked, wanting to say a few choice words to the fellow band mate.

“Well like I said, Harry came back last Tuesday and convinced Liam to go with him,” Louis explained and his hands trembled. “I should have just called the police then,” he said, talking to more himself than the other two. He sighed. “Liam managed to call me that night to come get him because Harry had completely lost it,” he explained. “When I got there, I told Harry to leave and never come back,” he explained.

“But you saved Liam from him, right?” Zayn asked, just wanting to make sure.

Louis shrugged. “If you can call it saving,” he said and tears formed in his eyes. “Liam’s not the same anymore,” he said. “He barely talks to me, and h-e’s sick,” he said, beginning to cry.

“Sick?” Niall’s face paled. “How sick, Lou?”

“Really sick, but he won’t go to the hospital,” Louis said, not even trying to stop his tears. He refused to cry in front of Liam and after he’s spent every moment possible with him for the past 6 days, he felt his walls starting to come down.

Niall, who was also on the verge of crying, decided to take charge. “Zayn, will you go check on Liam?” he asked and stood up, going over to Louis.

Zayn nodded and braced himself before starting up the stairs.

“Shh, Louis, we’re here to help you now,” Niall promised and pulled the older lad into a hug.

Louis buried his face in Niall’s chest and sobbed his heart out. “I can’t lose him, Ni, I just can’t,” he cried.

Niall did his best to comfort his friend, but he found no words to say to make this situation better.

—

Zayn didn’t know what to expect as he climbed the stairs. He passed Liam and Harry’s room, seeing it empty, so he assumed Liam was residing in Louis’s room. He felt uneasy chills as he passed the Lirry bedroom, now knowing the truth about the horrid things that went on behind closed doors.

He knocked gently on Louis’s door but didn’t bother waiting for an answer before going inside. The room was dark apart from the faint glow from the muted TV in the corner. He could see Liam’s mass curled up in a pile of blankets on the bed. “Liam?” he said softly as he tiptoed over to the bed. Liam poked his head out and turned onto his side as Zayn sat down.

“Hey buddy,” Zayn said comfortingly. He reached out to put his hand on Liam’s shoulder, but he flinched away. “Sorry,” he added quickly. “Louis’s told me everything,” he explained.

Liam only allowed his eyes to be seen by Zayn, but the boy could still see the bruising; especially the deep and painful bruise/cut on his temple. Zayn gulped. “So I heard you’re feeling pretty sick, eh? Maybe want to get that checked out?” he asked, nodding towards his head.

Liam shook his head frantically but then gasped, closing his eyes tightly, the blanket dropping down to his chest.

Zayn’s eyes widened. “Geesh, Li,” he gasped, and reached over, turning the bed side lamp on.

Liam turned away from the light, letting out a painful groan as he hid his face again. But the he suddenly turned over again, leaning over the edge of the bed and vomiting. Nothing came up except stomach acid, but Zayn could feel Liam’s pain as he dry heaved. He moved closer to the writhing boy, putting his arms around Liam as he coughed and sputtered at the ground. When he finally stopped, Liam was shaking so hard Zayn was afraid he was having a seizure. “Liam, we need to get you to the hospital,” he said.

Liam no longer had the energy to say no, but he made a small noise of protest. He leaned against Zayn, his eyes going closed. Zayn gently laid him back down into the bed, turning the light off, and left. He couldn’t stand seeing his best friend in that condition any longer. He hurried down the stairs, seeing Louis sipping a cup of tea, with Niall sitting beside him in the kitchen.

“Is everything okay?” Niall asked, not liking Zayn’s expression.

Zayn shook his head. “Hell no,” he said and looked at Louis. “How did Liam hurt his head? Do you know specifically what happened?” he asked.

Louis swallowed and nodded. “He wouldn’t tell me, but I found blood on the corner of the night stand at the hotel. I think that’s where he hit his head,” he explained. “Why?”

“I think he’s having post-concussion symptoms, and it’s really bad,” Zayn said. “He just threw up,” he added.

“He’s been vomiting for the past two days, and hasn’t eaten anything besides crackers since everything happened,” Louis admitting, feeling ashamed. He should have taken Liam straight to the hospital. Only he had been too sensitive to Liam when he said he just wanted to go home. “H-he just won’t go to the hospital,” he said sadly. “And I didn’t want to get angry with him or force him to go because then I’d be no better than Harry,” he spat.

“Louis, you’ll never be like Harry and Liam knows that,” Niall cut in, staring at Louis in disbelief. “What Harry was doing, he did out of the benefit of himself, for god only knows what reason’s, but you’re only looking out for Liam. If he’s that sick, we have to do something,” he said urgently.

“I‘ll at least call a doctor. He will at least be able to help us decide what actions to take,” Zayn suggested.

Louis’s eyes brightened, but only slightly. “Okay,” he said. What hadn’t he thought of that?

Zayn pulled out his cell phone and went towards the office to find the number of the local doctor.

“It’ll be okay, Lou,” Niall said, hugging Louis’s shoulders tightly.

“This is all my fault,” Louis sobbed but then stopped when there was a sudden thump from upstairs. Louis head snapped up. “Liam!” he yelled, dashing from the kitchen and bolting up the stairs. He shoved open the door and rushed straight to the bathroom after seeing the light on. He found Liam on the floor of the bathroom, laying on his back and panting heavily. “Li!” he cried, going to his side.

“Mmm, nno feel goood Lou,” Liam sobbed quietly, his body unable to produce anymore tears but he showed his pain and fear through the shakes and quivers of his body.

“I know, baby, but we’re going to get you help and everything will be okay again, I promise,” Louis cooed as he picked up Liam’s weak and frail body. “It’s going to be okay,” he preached again.

“M’love you, Lou,” Liam whispered against Louis’s neck before losing consciousness completely.

“I love you too Liam,” Louis cried and then immediately called out to Niall. “Call 999!”

—

One Week Later

“How is he?”

Louis looked up and saw Zayn standing in the door way. “Are those for him?” he asked, ignoring Zayn’s question.

Zayn looked at the flowers in his hand and nodded. “Yeah, thought it would help brighten this place up a little,” he shrugged, going over and putting the vase beside the bed. He adjusted the arrangement before looking down at Liam’s sleeping face. There was now an ugly scar on his temple, still covered with a slowly fading bruise. “Is he talking yet?”

Louis took a while to figure out how to answer. “Yeah, he‘s talking to the doctors,” he answered. Just not to me.

“Well that‘s good,” Zayn said, taking a seat beside the hospital bed. “How is he otherwise?”

“His body is healing and he’s keeping food down,” Louis explained, his hand resting over Liam’s and squeezing gently.

“Come on, let’s go take a walk, okay?” Zayn suggested.

Louis shook his head. “No, I’d like to stay here. He should be waking up soon,” he added. He knew Liam’s sleeping pattern now because of all the drugs they had him on. Some were for pain, others to help with his symptoms from the concussion, others for depression. Those ones made Liam tired.

“Naw, Lou, you’re coming with me, Liam will be fine for a couple minutes alone,” Zayn promised, going over and gently pulling Louis to his feet and pulling him reluctantly behind.

“What do you want to talk about?” Louis asked once they were outside, walking through the hospital garden. This was where he went when Liam had his appointments with the doctors. There were so many doctors.

“Anything,” Zayn shrugged. “I can see you’re not handling with situation very well Lou, you don’t have to stay strong for me,” he explained.

Louis shot him a glare. “I’m not staying strong for you. I’m staying strong for Liam,” he said.

“I know, but Liam’s not here right now so don’t hide anything from me, okay?”

Louis bit his lip and looked away. “Liam’s already broken enough, he doesn’t need my pity party too, so why even bother?”

“Liam isn’t broken,” Zayn snapped, stopping in his tracks. “You keep saying that, the doctors even use that word but Liam is not broken,” he said sharply, but calmly.

Louis stared at the ground. “He’s not the same Liam.”

“You’re right,” Zayn said with a scoff. “He isn’t but he’s going to come back. If Liam were broken, he’d be gone forever, but he’s not. I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” he explained. “He wants to get better. If he were broken, that would mean he gave up. But he’s fighting to get better. He’s fighting to get back to you,” he said.

Louis bit down on his lip harder. “He won’t even talk to me about it,” he said.

“About what? About Harry? About you saving his life? Of course he’s not going to talk to you about it,” Zayn scoffed. “He’s embarrassed, can’t you tell?”

“Embarrassed? Why would he be embarrassed?” Louis asked, confused.

“Because you’ve always been the one to embarrass him. He always blushes when you ever mention his name. Even before all this, he loved you. He wants to be his best for you; for everyone. He can’t like the fact that you had to save him. It was his choice to stay with Harry, and look how that turned out for him. He probably thinks that if he brings it up, you’re going to come back with a ‘I told you so’.”

“I would never say that!” Louis gasped.

“I know you wouldn’t Lou, but think how Liam feels,” Zayn said.

Louis dropped the conversation, lost in his own thoughts. Zayn continued walking and Louis followed behind him. After a few minutes of silence, Louis spoke again. “Have you heard from Harry?”

“Not after he called last week,” Zayn said. “When I told him to go to hell,” he added.

Louis just nodded.

“But Niall’s worried about him,” Zayn added quietly.

“What? Why?”

“He’s listened to the voicemails Harry’s left on the machine and Niall fears that he’s going to do something really stupid,” Zayn explained. “Like maybe even try to end his life.”

“Let him,” Louis said.

Zayn stopped again, grabbing Louis’s shirt and yanking him back. “You can’t mean that,” he said sternly.

“I do mean it,” Louis said, unfazed. “Let him rot in hell for what he’s done,” he said.

“Look, I’m just as pissed at Harry as you are but I’d never wish that on him,” Zayn said. “And as much as you hate to admit it to yourself, Harry needs our help too,” he said.

“First Niall, now you? He’s only going to worm his way back into our lives and break Liam again!”

“He’s not broken!” Zayn roared, making Louis flinch. He narrowed his eyes at Louis before continuing. “I’m not saying we welcome Harry back with welcome arms, but I’m going to call him, okay? I’m going to make it clear to him that I don’t want him coming back here for a long, long time but I think he at least deserves a phone call,” he said. “Liam doesn’t need to know we’re in communication with him, I just think Niall’s right. If Harry did something stupid, I would never be able to forgive myself,” he explained.

“I don’t want him here,” Louis said.

“He won’t be here, I promise. Just a phone call,” Zayn stated.

“Fine. But if he tries to give excuses, don’t fall for them. Liam’s in there because of his damn excuses,” Louis said, his finger jutting towards the large brick building. “Also, remind him that my threat still stands if he comes anywhere near Liam,” he added before turning and walking back into the building to Liam’s room.

~

Harry stared at the empty bottle of tequila in his hand. He drunk most of it, but the rest of it he just dumped into the sink. Liam wouldn’t want him like this. Harry didn’t want himself to be like this. Thinking of Liam made Harry want to go out and buy another bottle of alcohol. Instead, he let the bottle clatter to the ground and he stalked over to the couch, curling up on it. He closed his eyes and let all his emotions surface again.

He couldn’t explain why he’s been the way he’s been towards Liam. So mean, cruel, evil. Harry was disgusted with himself. But what made him more scared was why he hadn’t felt disgusted enough to ever stop. He knew what he was doing to Liam; he was aware of every punch, kick, and hurtful word. It was just that so many times Liam would make Harry so angry and he wouldn’t realize until after the damage was done that he really had no reason to be angry. All he could remember was the rage he felt, but not why he had felt so much rage towards the Wolverhampton boy.

Harry wanted to protect him, not hurt him. So why had he?

He loved Liam with every ounce in his body and couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that he was the one causing him so much pain. He could remember the satisfaction he once felt when Liam would cower beneath him. It had given Harry a sense of pride that he had the dominancy in the relationship. But now it just made him realize he was the coward, not Liam.

The moment he saw Louis carrying Liam out of that hotel room was the trigger for Harry. Before this all started, and Liam would have a bad day, he used to cuddle against Harry. The way Liam was curled up against Louis that night made Harry realize that he wasn‘t going to keep Liam by treating him like that.

Harry’s quick mood changes in him were not normal and he needed help. He only wished he would have asked for help sooner. When Louis, the guy he once called his best friend, told him to leave and never come back, Harry was crushed. How had he messed up so terribly in his life and couldn’t see it until that moment? He left that hotel as soon as he could, not wanting his mood to flip again. He ran and ran until he couldn’t no longer. He remembered it had begun to rain and he found himself in a bar. He drank until he no longer could feel his pain. He woke up in a hotel room, the one he resided in now, almost 5 towns over, and he could care less how he got there.

“You’re away from Liam, he’s safe,” Harry reminded himself, but then his stomach twisted in a knot. He bit down on the pillow and let out a sob. He wasn’t exactly sure if Liam was safe. He tried calling, despite Louis’s threats, but no one wanted to talk to him. He knew he had done significant damage, but he hadn’t been sure of how much until Zayn had been the one to finally pick up the phone.

“Go to hell, Harry,” was all Zayn said before hanging up.

The situation was no longer between Harry and Liam, and even Louis, it involved the entire band. Harry never felt so alone.

Harry sat up again and stared at the pill bottle sitting on the table. He had purchased the sleeping pills a few days ago but only took two one night to let himself get one good night of sleep, but he had dreamt of Liam and he realized he didn’t want to dream anymore. He reached out and looked at the warnings and thought “I’m sure the whole bottle will do the trick.”

 

He was just about the unscrew the lid when he heard his phone ringing. He dropped the pills as he heard the voices of himself and Liam, giggling: “Darling, answer your phone! *Liam laughing* You better do as he says, erm, me, it could be Liam! Hurry! *Harry’s own laughter mixed with Liam’s*”

Harry winced as his heart leapt to his throat: he was on the brink of tears as he heard Liam’s voice, even if it was just the ringtone. Harry jumped up and grabbed the phone. “Hello? Liam?” he asked, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“No, It’s me, Zayn,” came the response.

Harry felt his spirits dropping rapidly. “Oh,” he responded, but continued to cry silently. What would he have even said if it had been Liam. “I’m sorry” wouldn’t have cut it. He was pretty sure nothing would.

“How are you?” Zayn asked.

Harry leaned up against the wall and slid to the ground. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore, Zayn,” he said, closing his eyes tight. “I want to come home.”

Zayn sighed. “You can’t do that Harry,” he said, but his voice held sympathy, unlike their last conversation.

“I know,” Harry cried. “But I need help, please. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I don’t know what to do. I almost….” his eyes flashed to the pill bottle.

“Almost what, Harry?”

“I’m so sorry Zayn, I can’t live with what I’ve done,” Harry cried.

“Harry! Don’t you even dare!” Zayn yelled.

“I-I’m not, but god Zayn, I want to. You don’t understand the guilt I have right now, and the worse part is, is that sometimes it isn’t that bad.”

“Isn’t that bad? Isn’t that bad?! Harry, do you know what you’ve done!?” Zayn was angry now, Harry could tell.

“Yes! And that’s the problem! I need help! I feel so alone, I can’t do this on my own, PLEASE!” Harry was begging.

Zayn was silent on the other end of the line as Harry sobbed into the phone.

“Please Zayn, I just need to talk to him,” Harry said after a few minutes of trying to calm down.

“That’s not going to happen, Harry,” Zayn said simply.

“B-But he has to know that I’m sorry. Did he get the voicemails I’ve sent?”

“No, Liam’s been a little busy in the hospital,” Zayn spat.

“Oh god,” Harry put his face on his knees. “Please tell me he’s okay?” he asked.

“I don’t know yet, Harry,” Zayn lied. Liam was going to be fine, and was actually going home that morning, but he wanted Harry to suffer a little more. The sob coming from Harry made Zayn add, “But he’s going to be okay eventually. Just as long as you don’t come back,” he said.

“Ever?”

“No, not ever. Just not for a long, long time,” Zayn said. “I have to go now, but I’m going to call you later, okay? I’m going to talk to Niall and see if he wants to come with me to come see you,” he said.

“Sh-shouldn’t you be with Liam?” Harry asked, his voice and body shaking slightly.

“He has Louis to take care of him,” Zayn said, almost smugly. “Plus, you’re still our friend and you need help. I’ll call you later. Don’t do anything stupid,” he added.

“I won’t. Please keep me updated on Liam, okay?”

“You don’t deserve that Harry. Just because I still care about you doesn’t mean I don’t want to kill you for what you’ve done to him. This is me giving you an opportunity, don’t push it,” Zayn said and hung up.

“For Liam’s sake, I won’t,” Harry said, even though the call was already ended.

—

“Are you sure this is okay, Liam? The lights are okay? Do you have enough blankets? Pillows?”

Liam nodded, a hint of a smile on his face as he watched the Doncaster lad bustling around him, trying to make sure Liam was comfortable. He decided it would be best to remain on the ground floor for a while, at least until the signs of his concussion were gone. He didn’t want to risk going up and down the stairs all the time. Liam was curled up on the couch with a pile of blankets and pillows; the doctor told Louis to make sure Liam was warm enough because if he had another panic attack, his body could go into shock.

Yes, another, panic attack. Liam had 3 of them during his week in the hospital. The first one was during his first therapy lesson at the hospital. The therapist wasted no time asking him questions about Harry. “Did he punch you? Did he hit you? Did he rape you?”

Liam had completely freaked out and threw himself into a complete panic attack. It took some drug and Louis to calm him down again. The second one Liam had was during the middle of the night; he had a dream that Harry snuck into the hospital and tried to hurt him again. Luckily Louis had been asleep right beside Liam and it just took a strong cuddle after Liam woke up to calm the attack.

The third only happened a few hours ago when Louis was driving Liam back home. He wasn’t talking to Louis, and only ever responded to him anymore with simple replies, but Liam was fearing that Harry would be waiting for them at home. Louis assured Liam that Harry would never be near him again, but the boy went into another attack with worry. Louis had to pull over and made Liam breath into a paper bag. After Liam had calmed down, they finally made their way back home.

“Are you sure you don‘t need anything else?” Louis asked again and Liam rolled his eyes.

“I’m fine,” he spoke and Louis smiled, sitting down on the edge of the couch, putting his hand gently on Liam’s knee.

“Good,” he said.

Liam’s smile fell slightly as he looked around the living room. It scared him how much everything reminded him of Harry, but he didn’t want to inform Louis of this. The boy was already worrying too much over him, he didn’t want to add to the stress.

“Depending on how long you’re going to stay down here, I may move my bed down here,” Louis said.

“That’s a good idea,” Liam admitted quietly. “It’s going to be a little difficult with us both cuddling on this couch tonight,” he said and smiled shyly when he saw Louis’s cheeks blush.

“We’ll manage,” Louis said, gently squeezing Liam’s knee.

Liam knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep without Louis beside him. They cuddled every night Liam was in the hospital. They never touched kissed each other, or made things more than platonic, they just cuddled. It was the only thing that made Liam feel safe at night. Louis in general was the only thing that Liam feel better at all.

“Louis,” Liam whispered softly.

“Yeah, Li?”

“I’m sorry,” Liam said.

Louis frowned. “About what?” This was the first time Liam voluntarily started a conversation since almost two weeks ago.

“I wish I was better now. For you.”

Louis sighed quietly. “Liam, you don’t need to be better now. You have plenty of time to heal and cope, don’t worry about me,” he said, forcing a smile.

Despite knowing the smile was forced, it still comforted Liam. “I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” Louis said, a true smile forming.

“Eventually, I will be better,” Liam added.

“Eventually, yes, and I’ll be right here for you when you are.”


	7. Final Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of this story. The next chapter is an alternate ending.

Niall knocked gently on the door and then looked up at Zayn. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“It was your idea in the first place,” Zayn reminded his boyfriend.

“Oh yeah,” Niall said and looked back to the door as it opened just a crack.

There was a blur of curly hair through the crack of the door before the door swung open further. There was a long sigh of relief and then a light turned on beside the door. “I’m so glad you guys came,” Harry said, stepping back to allow Ziall entrance into the room.

“I think you should be more glad that my fist isn’t down your throat right now,” Zayn said as he ushered Niall into the room. The Irish lad looked on the verge of tears and anger.

Harry also looked on the verge of tears. He blinked his eyes to stop them from falling and just nodded, turning towards the living room and going to sit down. Niall and Zayn, after closing the door, followed him but remained standing. They watched as Harry put his face in his hands. There was an awkward silence before Niall finally spoke up.

“When did it start?” Niall asked. He didn’t care if he was being too blunt, he needed to know.

Harry raised his head and wiped his nose. “Uh, a couple months, I don’t know for sure,” he said quietly.

“You don’t know for sure?” Niall spat. “You don’t know the first time you hit Liam?!” he said and was about to reach out and smack Harry but Zayn held him back.

“Babe, calm down,” Zayn said.

“No! I can’t calm down! He hurt my best friend and he doesn’t even know when it started!” Niall struggled in Zayn’s grasp.

Harry just sat there, wishing Zayn would let Niall go because he would deserve anything Niall did to him.

 

“Please!” Zayn begged and that plead made Niall stop fighting.

Niall glared at Zayn but then turned the angry looks towards Harry. “What did Liam ever do to you?” he asked, panting slightly.

“I-I don’t know,” Harry said, biting his lip.

“Again, you don’t know? Well he must have done something right? To deserve what you did to him?” Niall asked with pure sarcasm.

Harry couldn’t hold his tears back anymore. “I don’t remember, but I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t just do it for fun, I was angry and then everything would go black and it’s all a blur, I swear!” he sobbed. “I never meant to hurt him. I love him, you have to believe that,” he cried.

“I don’t,” Niall said and you could hear the venom in his voice. After a minute of just listening to Harry’s sobs, he continued. “When Louis told us what happened, I couldn’t believe it. I honestly thought there had been some misunderstanding because there was no way our Harry would do that to sweet Liam. Even when I saw him on the bathroom floor, looking like death and I thought, ‘This is a mistake, Harry wouldn’t leave Liam like this’. When you called, I felt sympathy, but I’ve spent more time with Liam now. He didn’t suddenly change, it’s been a process for months. You did this to him.”

“Did what? Please tell me he’s okay,” Harry begged.

“He can’t sleep alone because he’s afraid you’re going to come back and hurt him,” Niall began.

“Niall,” Zayn said in a warning tone. They already agreed to not talk about Liam’s condition to Harry.

“No, Harry needs to hear this,” Niall said.

“No, Harry doesn’t,” Zayn retorted.

“He needs to know what he’s done.”

“He knows what he’s done. You’re the one that wanted to come here in the first place, remember?” Zayn reminded him again. Then he went and sat beside Harry on the couch. Zayn could see the look of hurt flash across his boyfriends face. He turned his attention to Harry. “We’re going to take you to a doctor, okay?”

Harry trembled. “B-but won’t they want to know what’s happened? A-and they’ll throw me in jail?”

Zayn shook his head. “I already made an appointment with a discrete doctor. Plus, only Liam can press charges if he wants to.”

“Does he want to?” Harry asked in a small voice.

“We don’t know yet,” was the reply.

—

One Week Later

There was a clatter in the kitchen and Louis sat up in the bed. He looked beside him and tensed when he saw the bed empty. The boys had moved the bed down to the living room for Liam, but every night Louis would cuddle the younger boy the whole night. Almost always, Louis would wake up to find Liam still curled up against him, but now he wasn’t anywhere in the room. He heard the clatter again and Louis could vaguely make out movement in the kitchen. He got up, wearing nothing but boxers, and walked towards the noise. He would have thought it was Niall, but the Irish lad and his boyfriend left to go see Harry again this morning. They two boys have been traveling back and forth this week.

They’ve been keeping him updated on Harry’s condition. The doctor prescribed medication that seemed to be helping his anger issues and the counseling sessions were helping Harry wrap his mind around what happened. Liam was also getting better, or at least Louis thought. He was still on a lot of meds but they weren’t drastically changing his mood all the time. He almost seemed like the normal Liam.

Louis entered the kitchen to find Liam fumbling around through the pots and pans. “What are you doing, Li?” he asked.

Liam jumped and turned around quickly.

“Sorry,” Louis said quickly, and rushed over to the boy who held a hand over his heart.

“It’s fine, you just scared me,” Liam said and smiled slightly, but Louis knew he had really scared the boy.

“What are you going, Hun?” Louis asked, putting his hands on Liam’s arms comfortingly.

“I was going to make you breakfast, but I can’t find the frying pan for bacon,” Liam said, his shoulders slumping slightly.

“That’s sweet of you,” Louis said, generally surprised. He normally always made breakfast because it usually took a lot of Liam to get out of bed these days. “I’m surprised to see you up,” he admitted.

Liam shrugged slightly. “I can’t lay around forever,” he said, looking at the ground.

“You can if you want to,” Louis said and then pulled Liam into a hug. “And I can lay beside you,” he said, sighing softly when Liam put his arms around Louis, laying his head on his shoulder.

“I’m not going to get any better by just laying there,” Liam whispered.

“Okay, well let me at least help you with breakfast?” Louis suggested and Liam nodded.

The boys worked together on making a full breakfast with pancakes, bacon, toast, and potatoes. They chatted about random things, never once mentioning things from the past couple of weeks. Louis was good at tip-toeing around the sensitive topics but he could see the change in Liam’s demure when ever he thought about Harry or the situation in general.

“Hey,” Louis poked Liam’s side. They were curled up on the bed watching Lilo & Stitch. It was almost dark again. They had spent the day mostly inside, talking, cuddling, playing board games. But Liam had suddenly grown quiet and the silence was worrying Louis.

“Sorry,” Liam said and looked at Louis.

“What’s up?”

Liam shrugged. “Just thinking,” he said.

“About what?”

“About us,” Liam admitted. “I don’t know how to thank you for all that you’ve done for me, Lou,” he said.

Louis squeezed Liam’s shoulder from where he already had his arm draped over. “No need to thank me, Li,” he said.

“But I have to, some how,” Liam replied.

“But you don’—”

Louis was cut off by Liam pressing his lips against his own. He felt the same feeling he had when they shared their first kiss: it made him feel warm and tingly inside. He returned the kiss and curled his hand gently in Liam’s hair. After a long time of sweet gentle kissing, the pair broke apart.

Liam looked into Louis’s eyes. “I love you Lou,” he said and smiled shyly as if he wasn’t supposed to say that. He knew he told Louis he loved him all the time, even when they would cuddle up at night, but he felt the kiss made the meaning so much different.

“I love you too, Li, so much,” Louis said, holding Liam close.

“I want to be better for you,” Liam said again and Louis frowned, not wanting to hear Liam fuss over this again. It broke his heart to hear the boy wishing he would be better, different, for Louis.

“I know you do, but like I said before, we’ll get there together,” Louis said but then he saw Liam shake his head.

“I know I look like I’m getting better, but I’m really not. Not on the inside,” Liam said but didn’t stop to let Louis reply. “But I think I know what I need to do to finally start feeling better. I need to see Harry.”

~

“Are you sure you want to do this, Liam?” Louis asked, his arm wrapped around the other boy’s waist.

Liam nodded, staring at the closed kitchen door. On the other side, he knew Harry was waiting for permission to enter the living room.

“You’re shaking,” Louis commented, leaning his head on Liam’s shoulder and hugging him softly.

“I’m scared,” Liam admitted, his voice soft. “But I want to do this. I have to do this,” he told himself, more than Louis.

“You don’t have to do this right now though; we can wait,” Louis began.

“No, I need to do this now,” Liam said.

Louis sighed and nodded before standing up. “I’ll be right back,” he said and went through the kitchen doors.

Liam tucked his hands under his legs as he waited for Louis to come back in with Harry. He could hear talking going on in the kitchen, but he tried to ignore what the voices were saying. He was petrified to see Harry again, especially since the last memory he had of Harry was him bashing a phone against his face. Liam shuddered at the memory and blinked back his tears. He had to be strong, he couldn’t break down. He was tired of everyone handling him like he was a broken toy. He could feel himself healing, both physically and mentally, but he felt like he hit a road bump. He wanted Louis, like really wanted him, but he wasn’t able to give himself to Louis without properly ending things with Harry. It was scary, but he needed to make a final break from the boy.

 

The door opened and Liam looked up, seeing Louis walking with, Harry following behind him. He also spotted Niall and Zayn waiting in the kitchen. Niall gave Liam a curt nod as if saying ‘We’re right here if you need us’.

Louis returned and sat next to Liam on the couch. Harry remained standing.

“You wanted to see me?”

Liam looked up when Harry spoke, surprised by his tone of voice. It was surprisingly not-calm, very sporadic and shaky. With further inspection, Liam concluded that Harry didn’t look well either. He was pale, and thin, and simply looked drained. Liam felt like he was supposed to feel good about this, but he didn’t. He didn’t feel bad about it either. Liam nodded, but didn’t move to speak until Louis slipped his hand around Liam’s shoulders.

Harry’s face twisted into a grimace and Liam found his voice finally. “You can’t do that,” Liam whispered.

“Do what?” Harry asked, looking confused, but his eyes continued to stare at Louis’s arm around Liam.

“Be jealous. You can’t be mad at us for this,” Liam explained, unable to get his voice higher than a whisper.

Harry gulped and looked away from them, instead staring at his shoes. “You’re right, I don’t have the right to be mad. But I can be jealous,” he shrugged slightly. “I really messed up, didn’t I?”

Louis let out a dry laugh, but used his other hand to cover his mouth, forcing himself not to say anything. He had promised Liam to stay out of it unless things got hasty.

Harry glanced at Louis with a guilty expression.

“I loved you once,” Liam said, deciding to ignore Louis’s eye roll. “But you’re not the same Harry anymore,” he said.

“I know,” Harry nodded. “But you’re not the same Liam anymore either,” he continued.

Liam frowned and Louis’s smirk turned into a glare. What did Harry mean he wasn’t the same Liam? Liam’s own hand curled into a fist, ready to protest if Harry was going to try and turn this on Liam.

“I messed you up real bad,” Harry said and Liam’s fist unclenched when he saw the tears rolling down Harry’s cheeks. “I’m the reason you’re so different,” he cried softly. “You were perfect and I just—- I just ruined us… I ruined you,” he said. He took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears. “I can never forgive myself for that.”

Liam could find nothing to reply with. He couldn’t tell Harry that he was forgiven. There was too much damage done for that. He didn’t like that Harry was so upset, but he wasn’t going to try and comfort him because he knew Harry didn’t deserve it. So he said what he planned on saying from the beginning. “We’re done, Harry,” he said.

Harry let out a small sob. “I thought that was obvious,” he said, hiding his face as he sobbed. “Ya kn-know,” he sniffled loudly, wiping his face. “I thought, th-that maybe we could work this out, y-ya know?” his shoulders shook as he continued to sob. “B-but now that I see you two,” he gestured to the way Louis was holding Liam.

“Don’t bring Louis into this, Harry,” Liam said, dropping his head. He always hated seeing Harry cry. “You did this all on your own,” he stated, surprisingly with a stronger toned voice than he thought he could manage at this point.

Harry rolled his eyes and forced a dry laugh. Eventually, nodded, still crying heavily. “I know,” he said. “B-but what do we do now? Wh-what about One Direction?”

Liam gulped and looked at Louis, his eyes rimmed with tears. He couldn’t explain this to Harry without breaking down too, it was too hard.

“We’re going on hiatus,” Louis spoke up finally. “For one year, starting in January. During that time you’re not permitted to contact Liam. Do you understand?”

Harry cringed and nodded. “Y-yes,” he said, blinking away the tears to stare at Liam as if memorizing every detail.

Liam’s shoulders slouched as he felt uncomfortable by Harry’s staring.

“Depending on the progress both you and Liam have made at that time will depend on if we can start back up again. None of us want One Direction to end, especially Liam,” Louis continued, pulling Liam into a cuddle as he began to shake.

“That’s the last thing I want,” Harry agreed.

“Then it’s settled. One year,” Louis said. “Personally, it may be a while before I even have the will to talk to you again. But Niall and Zayn are going to help you, okay? I’ll see you in a year,” he concluded.

Harry continued to stare at Liam, taking in every last detail he could. He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked back at Zayn who was ushering him back to the kitchen.

Once he was out of Liam’s sight, Harry collapsed into Zayn’s arms. Zayn hugged him and looked over Harry’s head at Niall who was doing his best to hold back his tears. This whole situation was too unbelievable for the irish lad to handle; One Direction going on hiatus. Knowing it was what was best for Harry and Liam was the only reason Niall agreed.

“Keep in touch, okay?” Zayn asked Harry and he nodded.

“I will, I promise,” Harry said, pulling out of the hug. “I just want both of you to know that I really did—- do love him.”

“Harry—” Niall sighed.

“I know Niall,” Harry said, clenching his jaw. “It’s over, Liam said it himself. I know that nothing I can do will get him back, I know that,” he said. “But this band is all I have. The four of you are all I have, so I will do everything in my power to make us okay again,” he said, his eyes finally beginning to dry up. He continued to shake. “One Direction isn’t over forever,” he said and then gave a weak smile.

“Never,” Niall and Zayn both agreed and gave the curly haired lad a hug.

—

“It went better than expected,” Liam said. Harry had left hours ago, and now the two boys were cuddled up in Louis’s bed again.

“I’m proud of you,” Louis said, running his fingers through Liam’s hair. “You said what you needed to say,” he added.

“It felt like a weight was lifted off my chest,” Liam said. “I feel… free,” he explained, a hint of a smile pulling on his lips.

“Good,” Louis said, pressing his lips against Liam’s. He pulled back after a few seconds. “I hope you know that I am going to be spending every second of this next year with you,” he said with a cheeky grin.

“Good,” Liam said and kissed Louis’s lips again. “Because I’m not letting you leave me,” he said, pulling Louis on top of him.

Louis let out a husky chuckle. “Oh really?” he laughed before moving to straddle Liam, kissing him deeply.

“You saved me, Louis,” Liam said, his tone turning more serious. “I owe you my life,” he added.

“Well I don’t want you to give me your soul or anything, but I will accept other things,” Louis said playfully.

Liam laughed, running his hands along Louis’s sides. “But after this year is up, don’t think you’ll be getting rid of me,” he said.

“Oh, of course not,” Louis said, a glint in his eyes. “I plan on keeping you forever, Li,” he said, settling down beside him again on the bed.

“I hope so,” Liam said, growing tired all of a sudden. He curled up against Louis.

Louis cuddled Liam to his chest, watching as the younger boy began to fall asleep. Things weren’t okay just yet, but he knew now that they would be better soon. “I’ll wait for you forever,” Louis whispered, giving the boy one more kiss before they both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The End


	8. Alternate Lirry Ending

Alternate Ending

"I need to see Harry."

Louis sat beside Liam, but there was a reasonable amount of space between them. After the boy had told him he wanted to see Harry, he had been distant. Louis wasn’t sure why, but Liam seemed to not want his cuddles anymore and he could tell the boy was in deep thought as he stared off into space. He thought their second kiss had meant something, but now he wasn’t so sure.

“Liam? Are you sure you’re okay?” Louis asked.

Liam glanced over and gave a weak smile. “Yeah, Louis,” he said, attempting to use an assuring tone but it fell on unwilling ears.

“You don’t have to be strong for me, Li,” Louis sighed, using the same phrase that Zayn had used on him.

“Are you telling me that I’m not strong?” Liam asked and Louis froze.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Louis said gently. That really hadn’t been what he meant to say but he could still see the hurt flashing on Liam’s face. “I just meant that if you’re scared, you can show it,” he said.

“I’m not scared,” Liam lied and looked towards the door that led to the kitchen, knowing that Harry was on the other side. Zayn and Niall were having a little “chat” with him before being allowed to see Liam. “I’m not afraid of Harry. I never have been,” he shrugged slightly. That part was true.

Louis bit his lip but didn’t respond. He reached his hand out to take Liam’s but the boy frowned and pulled his hand away. Before Louis could question why Liam was suddenly so distant from him, Harry walked in.

 

Liam looked up and instantly zeroed his eyes on dried tears on Harry’s cheeks. His boyfriend looked deathly pale and shaky, and now his eyes looked like they were about to burst out tears again soon. Liam didn’t exactly know what to say. When he first told Louis that he needed to see Harry, he had planned for it to finally make a break from him. He thought that if he could finally official end it and let go, he could begin to heal.

But when Louis leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek yesterday before they went to bed, it registered that Harry used to do that. Harry used to comfort Liam when he was sad and take care of him when he was ill.

And it was Harry that was sick now. It was Harry that was broken, not Liam.

“You wanted to see me?” Harry asked, forcing himself to look away from Liam.

Liam could hear it in Harry’s voice that he was struggling not to cry. “Yeah,” he said, his voice just above a whisper.

Harry looked around, his eyes moving from object to object around the room just to avoid looking at Liam.

Liam felt Louis’s hand snake around his hips and Liam frowned, looking at the older boy. “Go ahead, Li, I’m right here,” Louis whispered.

Liam stared at Louis for a few long moments, remembering the tender moments he and Louis shared together. Louis reminded Liam what a relationship was supposed to be like; what it felt like to be loved. But deep down, Liam knew that it would never be enough. He looked back to Harry and saw the curly haired boy’s eyes on the arm that was wrapped around his waist.

“You can’t do that,” Liam stated.

Harry’s red eyes flashed up to Liam’s face. “Do what?” he asked, his voice trembling.

“Be jealous,” Liam said, but then slowly stood up, moving away from Louis. “He saved my life, Harry,” he spoke softly, stepping up Harry.

Harry nodded, his head dropping. “I know, a-and you don’t know how thankful I am for that,” he admitted and Liam saw it in Harry’s face that he believed what he was saying. “I’m not right, Liam,” he stated. “I haven’t been the same in a long time, I know that,” he said and tears began to pool in his eyes again.

Liam said nothing, just continued to stare at him. He had the urge to reach out and comfort Harry, but he remained where he was.

“You’re not the same either, Liam,” Harry continued and Liam’s eyebrows knitted together. “I messed you up real bad, didn’t I?”

Liam gulped and his tongue slipped between his lips to run across the coppery tasting cut: one injury of many because of Harry.

“I’m the reason you’re so different,” Harry began to cry softly. “You were perfect and I just— I just ruined us… I ruined you,” he said. He took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears. “I can never forgive myself for that.”

“Harry—” Liam whispered and reached out to the other boy. Harry reached out and took Liam’s hand in his, their fingers lacing.

“When I saw what I’ve done to you, I wanted to die,” Harry admitted, his voice breaking. “I still do!”

“No,” Liam gasped and squeezed Harry’s hand.

Harry shook his head fiercely, holding onto Liam’s hand like the other boy would disappear into thin air. But the grip wasn’t harsh or cruel, it was passionate. “Don’t take pity on me, Liam, I don’t deserve it,” he cried, dropping his head in shame.

Liam tugged on Harry’s hand and moved him closer, keeping their hands entwined. “I love you Harry,” he said and Harry ceased his cries for a moment, shocked by what the elder boy said, but he didn’t dare look up yet. “I hate what’s happened, but I love you,” Liam continued, “But I’m afraid,” his voice caught in his throat and Harry looked up, his eyes shimmering with tears. “I told others that I’m not afraid of you, but I’m so frightened of what you’ve become,” he began to sob.

Harry released Liam’s hand for a moment before cradling the boy in his arms, gently. “I know Liam, I know,” he whispered in his ear before burying his face in his hair. “I’m so sorry,” he shook along with Liam. “I love you so much,” he cried. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“I can’t lose you, Harry,” Liam confessed in his cries.

Harry moved his head to rest his chin on Liam’s shoulder. He opened his eyes and saw that Louis was now standing. He couldn’t read the other boy’s expression. If anything, he looked defeated.

Liam held onto Harry’s waist tightly, never wanting to let go. He felt like he physically wasn’t able to pull away now. It was like an addiction: the love he felt for the younger boy. True, that if his relationship would have continued the way it had been going, Liam was sure he wouldn’t have survived much longer. But now there was hope. He didn’t like seeing Harry this torn up, but this was the first time Harry’s been this genuine over hurting him.

He felt Harry pull away slightly but still kept his long and gentle arms around Liam’s shoulders. “I’ve given you many broken promises before, Li,” he acknowledged the truth. “So I won’t lie to you now,” he took a deep breath. “I have a serious problem and I no longer trust myself with you,” he said and Liam raised his head to look at the boy.

“Y-you can’t leave me!” Liam cried, fearing that Harry was going to force them to be apart.

“I’m not!” Harry gasped and hugged the boy to his chest again. He locked eyes with Louis, who remained silent. “But we need help. We have great friends, Liam, so I’m hoping they will help us both get through this together,” he said. “Louis?” he gulped. “Will you help us?”

Louis shifted on his feet and seemed to search for some sort of composure. “Of course. What exactly do you want me to do?”

Harry let out a sigh of relief. “For one, don’t let me hurt him again,” his voice vibrated uncontrollably. “You’ve never believed my lies, so don’t let me relapse? I’m telling you now that I don’t trust myself with him alone. I don’t want to hurt him, but then again I never wanted to, so who’s to say my….problems…. won’t come back full force?” he explained. “I’ll do what ever you say, just as long as you let me stay,” he said and felt Liam’s grip tighten around him. “Please…. just don’t let me hurt him,” he repeated.

Louis looked passed Harry’s head and saw Zayn and Niall standing by the door. He wondered how much they’ve heard, but by their looks, he could tell they knew the gist of the situation. He moved his eyes to Liam who’s face was buried in Harry’s neck and shoulder. “Okay,” he said and Harry’s face twisted in incremented relief and thankfulness.

Slowly, Louis walked over to Zayn and Niall. He turned and watched Harry lead Liam to the bed that rested in the middle of the living room. Harry sat down and Liam stayed glued to his side.

“He’s like a lost puppy,” Niall denoted quietly.

“Even with everything, he’ll always go home,” Louis whispered, trying to cover up his heart break.

Zayn put his hand on Louis’s shoulder and squeezed. “I’m sorry, Lou,” he said gently. He knew how Louis felt about Liam, and he had thought Liam felt the same, but apparently Harry, no matter what, was the one. “Maybe… he still just needs time,” he suggested. He didn’t like the idea of Liam being with Harry at all right now, but apart of him, deep down, knew how much the two boys really loved each other.

Louis gulped and shook his head. “No. As stupid as I think Liam is right now… he loves Harry. It was never going to be me. I see that now,” he stated, blinking back tears.

“And you’re okay with that? With this?” Niall gestured to the two boys hugging on the bed. They weren’t saying anything, just clutching to each other like their lives depended on it.

“Not really,” Louis gritted his teeth. “I still hate him…. But like you guys said, he’s sick,” he said, agreeing to accept this information about Harry. “So will you two help me with this?” he asked.

“Of course. They’re our friends and they asked for our help. How can we refuse?” Zayn said, no resistance in his voice. So it was understood that the three friends were going to do everything in their power to make things okay again.

~

Four Hours Later

Zayn came down stairs and saw Louis curled up on the chair on his lap top. “How long have they been asleep?” he whispered, sitting on the floor in front of the chair.

“About an hour,” Louis said, glancing over at Liam and Harry on the bed.

After their reunion, Harry made guidelines and a plan: 1. Don’t let him alone with Liam. 2. Call doctors in the morning to begin healing and diagnostics for the pair of them. After that, they would take it a day at a time.

“And this is what you truly want, Liam?” Louis had asked him.

“Yes,” Liam had stated. “You guys may think I’m stupid, but I can’t live without him,” he had explained.

“You’re not stupid, Li, you love him,” Louis had replied and the smile that Liam gave him was enough to show Louis that he made the right choice but accepting their requests.

“What are you doing up?” Louis asked Zayn now.

“I know you chose to stay down here with then, but I decided to stay too. Just in case,” Zayn explained. “And I thought you’d like some company.”

“Thanks,” Louis said, giving him a small smile. “I don’t plan on sleeping by the way. Not yet, anyway,” he said. He believed Harry truly wanted to get help this time, but if Harry asked him to not leave him alone with Liam, he planned on being awake, even if it was just for the first few weeks. Plus, if it was to protect Liam, Louis knew he would do anything in his power to do just that.

“I’ll stay up with you as long as I can,” Zayn explained, grabbing a blanket and draping it over his legs. “He looks very peaceful, you know,” he stated as he looked at Liam.

Liam was curled around Harry, his head resting on the other boy’s chest. Harry had his arms wrapped around Liam, his face buried in Liam’s hair. Despite the paleness of both their skins, and the bruises littered on Liam’s face, they both looked at ease. Harry’s face wasn’t visible, but Liam wore a small smile in his sleep.

“He does, doesn’t he?“ Louis smiled softly and then sighed.

“I guess love just works out like that sometimes,” Zayn shrugged, his eye lids already growing heavy.

“I guess so,” Louis whispered. “Who would have thought that the one that stole Liam’s smile, was the only one able to bring it back.”


End file.
